Hate is a sin?

[TheGuyWithAHeadache]

As a disclaimer, I don't want this to be percieved as bashing the Lord. I am simply angry and confused. With that said, let me explain my situation

My cousin moved in with my Aunt and I about a year ago. We've grown close since then, discussing our problems, looking out for each other, etc. She's like a sister to me. A few months ago she met a guy I will call "D" in this post. The relationship was going well for awhile, she seemed truely happy. Then D took up his old drinking habits. One day he snapped and beat her until she got a black eye. He even threatened her with a gun. Unbeknownst to me, he had done this before, even doing it in front of her six year old kid. The judge gave him one month in jail, a slap on the wrist. Now that he's out of jail, she's taken him back in. That's right, that low life is under the same roof as me. This is allowed by the law as she didn't and never will file a restraining order against him. I hate him. Nothing would make me happier than to do the same things to him as he did to her. As a law abiding citizen, I can't. People have told me that hating this man is a sin, that leaves me with some questions.

Why is this a sin? Does God condone this mans actions?
How am I supposed to forgive him if justice wasn't served in this situation?
Even if he hasn't hit her since, am I to forgive him?

Any thoughts on this would be appriciated.

[Strider324]

As a disclaimer, I don't want this to be percieved as bashing the Lord. I am simply angry and confused. With that said, let me explain my situation

My cousin moved in with my Aunt and I about a year ago. We've grown close since then, discussing our problems, looking out for each other, etc. She's like a sister to me. A few months ago she met a guy I will call "D" in this post. The relationship was going well for awhile, she seemed truely happy. Then D took up his old drinking habits. One day he snapped and beat her until she got a black eye. He even threatened her with a gun. Unbeknownst to me, he had done this before, even doing it in front of her six year old kid. The judge gave him one month in jail, a slap on the wrist. Now that he's out of jail, she's taken him back in. That's right, that low life is under the same roof as me. This is allowed by the law as she didn't and never will file a restraining order against him. I hate him. Nothing would make me happier than to do the same things to him as he did to her. As a law abiding citizen, I can't. People have told me that hating this man is a sin, that leaves me with some questions.

Why is this a sin? Does God condone this mans actions?
How am I supposed to forgive him if justice wasn't served in this situation?
Even if he hasn't hit her since, am I to forgive him?

Any thoughts on this would be appriciated.

Since the bible makes it clear that God hates, I have no idea how any christian can justify such a claim.

[janavoss]

As a disclaimer, I don't want this to be percieved as bashing the Lord. I am simply angry and confused. With that said, let me explain my situation

My cousin moved in with my Aunt and I about a year ago. We've grown close since then, discussing our problems, looking out for each other, etc. She's like a sister to me. A few months ago she met a guy I will call "D" in this post. The relationship was going well for awhile, she seemed truely happy. Then D took up his old drinking habits. One day he snapped and beat her until she got a black eye. He even threatened her with a gun. Unbeknownst to me, he had done this before, even doing it in front of her six year old kid. The judge gave him one month in jail, a slap on the wrist. Now that he's out of jail, she's taken him back in. That's right, that low life is under the same roof as me. This is allowed by the law as she didn't and never will file a restraining order against him. I hate him. Nothing would make me happier than to do the same things to him as he did to her. As a law abiding citizen, I can't. People have told me that hating this man is a sin, that leaves me with some questions.

Why is this a sin? Does God condone this mans actions?
How am I supposed to forgive him if justice wasn't served in this situation?
Even if he hasn't hit her since, am I to forgive him?

Any thoughts on this would be appriciated.

I hate divorce, says the LORD God of Israel, and I hate a mans covering himself with violence as well as with his garment, says the LORD Almighty. -- Malachi 2:16

I think God is with you on your attitude towards this guy, but if you do anything violent against him you will be in the wrong, and that does not help your cousin at all. Keep a clear head and do only things to make the situation better, not worse.
Why do you and your aunt allow this man to live in your house? Get rid of him!!!

[connermt]

As a disclaimer, I don't want this to be percieved as bashing the Lord. I am simply angry and confused. With that said, let me explain my situation

My cousin moved in with my Aunt and I about a year ago. We've grown close since then, discussing our problems, looking out for each other, etc. She's like a sister to me. A few months ago she met a guy I will call "D" in this post. The relationship was going well for awhile, she seemed truely happy. Then D took up his old drinking habits. One day he snapped and beat her until she got a black eye. He even threatened her with a gun. Unbeknownst to me, he had done this before, even doing it in front of her six year old kid. The judge gave him one month in jail, a slap on the wrist. Now that he's out of jail, she's taken him back in. That's right, that low life is under the same roof as me. This is allowed by the law as she didn't and never will file a restraining order against him. I hate him. Nothing would make me happier than to do the same things to him as he did to her. As a law abiding citizen, I can't. People have told me that hating this man is a sin, that leaves me with some questions.

Why is this a sin? Does God condone this mans actions?
How am I supposed to forgive him if justice wasn't served in this situation?
Even if he hasn't hit her since, am I to forgive him?

Any thoughts on this would be appriciated.

I'm curious as to why you are concerned over what others say about how you feel? If you believe in god, you must also believe that you are responsible for your own actions, not the "feelings of others" or "what they say". Man up (so to speak) and deal with your own feelings with yourself and don't give two licks what others say!

[FaerieStories]

If you believe in god, you must also believe that you are responsible for your own actions

Well, not if this god is omniscient, though that's another matter.

[thepandemicson]

It seems you have a number of things you can do. If you and your aunt own the place, or if it's just your aunt that holds the lease/title, you and/or she can give him his eviction notice and have him out within a month. You can make sure he doesn't come back to your premises. This will not stop your cousin from seeing him, however. It's likely that this will be the case, and you may come out looking like the bad guy to her until she learns her lesson. Or until the world ends. Whichever comes first.

From a biblical standpoint, hating is considered a sin by the standards of both the Old Testament and New Testament.


Here's what the Old Testament says:

"Thou shalt not hate thy brother in thine heart: thou shalt in any wise rebuke thy neighbour, and not suffer sin upon him." Leviticus 19:17 KJB

"Thou shalt not avenge, nor bear any grudge against the children of thy people, but thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself: I am the LORD." Leviticus 19:18 KJB


And here's the New Testament:

"Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love thy neighbour, and hate thine enemy." Matthew 5:43 KJB

"But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;" Matthew 5:44 KJB

"That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust." Matthew 5:45 KJB

"For if ye love them which love you, what reward have ye? do not even the publicans the same?" Matthew 5:46 KJB

"And if ye salute your brethren only, what do ye more than others? do not even the publicans so?" Matthew 5:47 KJB

"Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect." Matthew 5:48 KJB

I pulled these from bible.com; it seemed like a credible source, given the subject matter.

The New Testament portion is from of Jesus' teachings when he taught the multitude from a mountain. He basically broke it down to this; You can hate your enemies, everyone does. But it takes a truly superior person, a better man, to love your enemies and continue to treat them better than they do you. Only then will you be more liken to God.

I applaud this and find it very inspiring, but I disagree with it. I don't disagree with the philosophy, I mean, I think it's a very good teaching; we should all treat each other better even if we consider each other enemies. But I disagree with this, based on the most common outcome I've experienced. If you let someone walk all over you, or hurt the things and people you love, they often continue to do so, now having learned that there are no foreseeable repercussions for their actions.

A man hits his wife/girlfriend, he gets a slap on the wrist, and she takes him back. He has learned that there are no serious consequences, and he will continue to perform this action for as long as he could get away with it. He might even escalate when he begins to see her conditioned to accept what he is doing, and the fact that she took him back means that she's accepting him for who he is and what he's capable of.

I like Jesus, and I admire his way of thinking, but I can't follow his methods. I'm just not that perfect, and I hate a lot of people. If I were in your shoes, I'd probably do something very illegal that would get me into a lot of trouble. The smart thing to do would be to get him legally out of your home, and after that you have to be there for your cousin and hope she wises up to what's really going on.

From a biblical standpoint, you're supposed to turn the other cheek and hope he learns to be a better person. But I don't think he's going to be doing that within the decade. He's an adult now, and I'd bet he's probably already the sort of person he wants to be; a bully and an alpha male. Such a person does not respect humility and grace. I think God would understand you kicking him out to protect your cousin.

[greentwiga]

People get confused on the doctrine of forgiveness. Jesus says if your brother sins and then repents, forgive him. If he sins 7 times and repents 7 times, forgive him. Has this man repented? A separate issue is this anger eating you up? Someone can do something horrible to you and live happy, totally unbothered. the recipient can suffer a second time by carrying this emotion. You don't have to forgive him until he repents, but you must release the anger and move on. Don't let this evil control or destroy you.

[thepandemicson]

People get confused on the doctrine of forgiveness. Jesus says if your brother sins and then repents, forgive him. If he sins 7 times and repents 7 times, forgive him. Has this man repented? A separate issue is this anger eating you up? Someone can do something horrible to you and live happy, totally unbothered. the recipient can suffer a second time by carrying this emotion. You don't have to forgive him until he repents, but you must release the anger and move on. Don't let this evil control or destroy you.

Isn't letting go of your anger the same thing as forgiving them? A man needs not to repent to be forgiven... he just needs to repent to actually learn something of moral value. I've known people that I've apologized to and they claimed they've forgiven me, but they stayed angry. In my eyes, that indicates they've never truly forgiven me.

[greentwiga]

No, the Bible is clear. God only forgives us after we repent. He is estranged from us and stands ready to forgive the moment we repent. He tells us to forgive after the person repents. We are to love our enemies, stand ready to forgive, but be separated from them until they repent. I carefully studied the word forgiveness in the Bible, and this is quite consistent.

[thepandemicson]

No, the Bible is clear. God only forgives us after we repent. He is estranged from us and stands ready to forgive the moment we repent. He tells us to forgive after the person repents. We are to love our enemies, stand ready to forgive, but be separated from them until they repent. I carefully studied the word forgiveness in the Bible, and this is quite consistent.

I'm going to look a little more into this, but for the time being I disagree with those first three sentences.

I've always found the bible to be confusing on quite a few topics. It tends to dance around them, with one person saying this about said topic, and another person saying something contradictory to their predecessor's statement.

I'd been taught growing up that the Christian God forgives us of our sin instantly, that he understands we're human and fallible and loves us enough that he committed his son to death to absolve us of sin even before we were born. I was to understand that we don't need to repent to be forgiven, we repent to accept the forgiveness already offered, and to show acceptance of this religious belief.

One of Jesus' teachings also strikes me as being the direct answer to this topic of forgiving versus repenting. I can't recall the exact verse and chapter, I'll look it up after work. But I remember him mentioning this to a disciple who asked him how many times should he forgive someone who's wronged him.
Jesus answered that he should forgive him if he's been wronged 7 times, or 77 times. He says nothing of waiting for the individual to repent, simply to forgive and let it go; the number of times, of course, being arbitrary and only indicating to keep forgiving and don't hold this against the person.

That's why I'm to understand that holding anger against someone is the same as not forgiving them.