Is church a good relationship killer?

[Lostsoul]

I am a college sophomore and my now ex-gf is a HS junior. 3 years, 4 months and 9 days age difference. we have a problem however.

We attent two different nondenominational churches, and because of this, her father, and her mother have made me out to be a non-christian, and that i dont have jesus with me, and am bad person at heart. they have even told me this to me on the phone. (we have never met face to face)

What ended up happening was the my ex and i chose not to listen to her parents, but to sneak out to meet each other. (not at night. but like, walking to the park and such to talk)

the problem, is that her parents found out, and went on a rather rash spree, they cut us off, and turned most of my friends and her friends against me. now, most of the people i talk to believe i have done nothing but make this poor girl miserable, and have done nothing but cause her pain, and make her change for the worse.

i feel horrible, but since we have no contact, i cant explain my feelings.

I would like opinions on this, and wether the parents actions were appropriate for the situation(I.E. church being a defining factor to cancel a relationship.)

i know we could have handled her parents predjudice better, but, o well. idk.

[Goat]

I am a college sophomore and my now ex-gf is a HS junior. 3 years, 4 months and 9 days age difference.

lol she is 17, and i am almost 19. not creepy. and ive considered it. she is just as willing to try to keep us together as i am.

Sorry, couldn't help but notice... If she's 17 and your about to turn 19 thats less than two years, yet you state your age difference as 3 years, 4 months and 9 days. Are you using Bible math? Like 3 day's and 3 nights = 36 hours?

You are assuming that someone starts college right after high school , and that they graduate at 18. That is not always true

[Blaze]

I am a college sophomore and my now ex-gf is a HS junior. 3 years, 4 months and 9 days age difference.

lol she is 17, and i am almost 19. not creepy. and ive considered it. she is just as willing to try to keep us together as i am.

Sorry, couldn't help but notice... If she's 17 and your about to turn 19 thats less than two years, yet you state your age difference as 3 years, 4 months and 9 days. Are you using Bible math? Like 3 day's and 3 nights = 36 hours?

You are assuming that someone starts college right after high school , and that they graduate at 18. That is not always true

No, I wasn't assuming that as my own son started college in what would have been his Jr. year in high school. Lostsoul clearly said "age" difference not school grade difference.

[daedalus 2.0]

I am a college sophomore and my now ex-gf is a HS junior. 3 years, 4 months and 9 days age difference.

lol she is 17, and i am almost 19. not creepy. and ive considered it. she is just as willing to try to keep us together as i am.

Sorry, couldn't help but notice... If she's 17 and your about to turn 19 thats less than two years, yet you state your age difference as 3 years, 4 months and 9 days. Are you using Bible math? Like 3 day's and 3 nights = 36 hours?

You are assuming that someone starts college right after high school , and that they graduate at 18. That is not always true

No, I wasn't assuming that as my own son started college in what would have been his Jr. year in high school. Lostsoul clearly said "age" difference not school grade difference.

Godmdait! See! This is what I mean! Goose, you are being deceitful!

She is 17! 17+3 = 20! He said he was "almost" 19, but said there was a difference of 3 years, 4 months and 9 days. Read his post!

Come on, man! Stop defending lies and deceit! Just because the person says they are Xian doesn't mean you trust them. in fact, we are learning to do the opposite.

[Goat]

I am a college sophomore and my now ex-gf is a HS junior. 3 years, 4 months and 9 days age difference.

lol she is 17, and i am almost 19. not creepy. and ive considered it. she is just as willing to try to keep us together as i am.

Sorry, couldn't help but notice... If she's 17 and your about to turn 19 thats less than two years, yet you state your age difference as 3 years, 4 months and 9 days. Are you using Bible math? Like 3 day's and 3 nights = 36 hours?

You are assuming that someone starts college right after high school , and that they graduate at 18. That is not always true

No, I wasn't assuming that as my own son started college in what would have been his Jr. year in high school. Lostsoul clearly said "age" difference not school grade difference.

Godmdait! See! This is what I mean! Goose, you are being deceitful!

She is 17! 17+3 = 20! He said he was "almost" 19, but said there was a difference of 3 years, 4 months and 9 days. Read his post!

Come on, man! Stop defending lies and deceit! Just because the person says they are Xian doesn't mean you trust them. in fact, we are learning to do the opposite.

Ah, so the GF is 15. She is too young for a steady bf in college.

[daedalus 2.0]

I am a college sophomore and my now ex-gf is a HS junior. 3 years, 4 months and 9 days age difference.

lol she is 17, and i am almost 19. not creepy. and ive considered it. she is just as willing to try to keep us together as i am.

Sorry, couldn't help but notice... If she's 17 and your about to turn 19 thats less than two years, yet you state your age difference as 3 years, 4 months and 9 days. Are you using Bible math? Like 3 day's and 3 nights = 36 hours?

You are assuming that someone starts college right after high school , and that they graduate at 18. That is not always true

No, I wasn't assuming that as my own son started college in what would have been his Jr. year in high school. Lostsoul clearly said "age" difference not school grade difference.

Godmdait! See! This is what I mean! Goose, you are being deceitful!

She is 17! 17+3 = 20! He said he was "almost" 19, but said there was a difference of 3 years, 4 months and 9 days. Read his post!

Come on, man! Stop defending lies and deceit! Just because the person says they are Xian doesn't mean you trust them. in fact, we are learning to do the opposite.

Ah, so the GF is 15. She is too young for a steady bf in college.

Well, she IS a year older than Mary was when she got knocked up, maybe he's just following Jospehs (or Yahweh's) lead....?


ba dum dum - I'll be here allllll week.....

[McCulloch]

I still say that if he wants to prove to her father both his love for her and his dedication to Biblical precedent, he should become his slave for seven years in exchange for her in marriage. By then, they will both be clearly of age.

But I doubt that he loves her that much nor that he is really dedicated to following Biblical examples.

[Lostsoul]

17, and 20 for clarifications. starting junior, and starting sophomore. and, as much as i like the idea of working for him for 7 years in exchange for his daughter, and her hand, he is an insurance agent, and im betting, he REALLLY wouldnt approve of that. but its a good laugh.

but would any religious parents out there agree with his actions? his wife doesnt care if we date, heck, shes all for it. but would any other parents do this to their daughter?

i spoke with my pastor, and his thoughts were that most parents in this situation, would probably MAKE me attend their church, and atleast see what i was like, beofer giving me an answer.

i spoke with their pastor, and recieved similar results, though i didnt use the families' names when i spoke to him, i didnt think it was right.

i mean, i can see why her dad would be kind of wary, with the age difference and all, but the parents' age differences are 4 years 6 months, and they did start dating when he was a senior (she was 8th grade for daedalus) so me and my gf never thought this would be a big problem.

[Blaze]

First your stated age difference is 3yrs 4mo 9days. Then you received negative feedback. Then you stated the age difference as less than 2 years. Then your received negative feedback over the inconsistency. Then for "clarifications" you change it back to 3 years... Maybe religion isn't the problem... Perhaps Dear ol Dad has just noticed your propensity for contradictory statements and wants someone more trustworthy for his little girl. That’s the difference between a teen and a 40 something... they notice things like that.

[Lostsoul]

well, then i owe those that care an apology. forgive me for writing i was 19. at one point, we were 19 and 16, and 15 and 18. it wasnt meant to be contradictory. once again sorry.

and he aint 40 something, hes 53(i think, around there) and "dear ol dad" as you put it, has yet to talk to me for more than 2 mins on the phone, so i doubt he knows much about me, apart from what has already been stated, i.e. difference in church, and our age separation.

o, and this post WAS intended to have feedback from both sides. daedalus' argument about age did show some points as to why her dad my not like me. so yeah. the feedback about our age difference, 3.5 years if ya want to round up, is appreciated, but me and my gf DID think this through somewhat before we started hanging out.

we*(ok, she doesnt care, and i am being very careful) dont care about the age difference, there have been worse cases.

i dont have problems with people defending her dad, but yeah, i dont like it when ya say he knows me, and yet you look over the fact he wont even meet me, or talk to me, or anything based on two factors.

if ya need to know anything else, ill be here.

[McCulloch]

"dear ol dad" as you put it, has yet to talk to me for more than 2 mins on the phone, so i doubt he knows much about me, apart from what has already been stated, i.e. difference in church, and our age separation.

So get your parole officer, the elders at your church or some other adult closer to his age that he might trust that knows you well to talk with him.