Suicide

[blondiefreak890]

OK so ive attempted suicide around 12-13 times and ive never been able to do it all the way.Most ppl think im crazy but sometimes that over whelming feeling of why cant nebody accept me for me?Why do ppl judge me?It just makes u feel so alone and when u think of almost commiting suicide than suddenly that thought will i go to heaven or hell?Ive heard different opinions on that question and nobody has ever really answered it.If i give up will i go to heaven or straight down to hell?

[McCulloch]

OK so ive attempted suicide around 12-13 times and ive never been able to do it all the way.Most ppl think im crazy but sometimes that over whelming feeling of why cant nebody accept me for me?Why do ppl judge me?It just makes u feel so alone and when u think of almost commiting suicide than suddenly that thought will i go to heaven or hell?Ive heard different opinions on that question and nobody has ever really answered it.If i give up will i go to heaven or straight down to hell?

If you want the real truth, nobody really knows. What anyone really knows is that you only get one chance at this life. If you are suicidal (that is the technical term for "that over whelming feeling of why cant nebody accept me for me", you need help. Chances are that help is not going to come from any online debating site. There are people who will listen to you and who will accept you. You need to find them. But even more you need to accept yourself for who you are.
Please don't chuck it all in just yet. You don't know what (if anything) will come next if you do.

[ST88]

I think McCulloch is right. Suicide means denying yourself the experiences of life that you may never know of.

I also agree that forums like this one are not the best places to find help, but it's a good first step. It shows that you have an instinct to reach out to others. I urge you to find those others, perhaps in your community, who once felt as you do now. I am sure they have similar stories to tell.

Hope is a funny and fragile thing.

[blondiefreak890]

ya i kno ive found help but everytime i think im actually gettin somewhere some ppl (ex.exboyfriends and unhelpful ppl) just seem to make me wanna do it again.I mean i dont like taking my anger out on nebody else so thats why i hurt myself cuz im afraid im gonna hurt other ppl.

[Corvus]

ya i kno ive found help but everytime i think im actually gettin somewhere some ppl (ex.exboyfriends and unhelpful ppl) just seem to make me wanna do it again.I mean i dont like taking my anger out on nebody else so thats why i hurt myself cuz im afraid im gonna hurt other ppl.

I am probably not a person who should be commenting, since I don't even think morality exists. But I read your post and see that because of other people, you have tried to commit suicide, and because of other people, you have found help, and because you don't wish to hurt other people, you hurt yourself. I think you place too much importance on other people, and not enough importance on yourself. Your life is not your own if you are living it through the opinions of other people. You must take control of your life and appreciate it for what it is. Observe the universe and you will find miracles. You will observe that, because energy is simply coagulated matter, we are all one, though we act separately from each other. You will observe that if you drop a coin onto the ground 100 times, the place where that coin lands and the angle with which it veers off, and the amount of times it wobbles or trembles before coming to a standstill might never once be repeated. And even if it is repeated, then that itself is a miracle! You too can see, as Blake did, heaven in a grain of sand and eternity in an hour. All it takes is a determination to shape your perception into something finer. To paraphrase Walter Pater, "It is roughness of the eye alone that makes one face appear like another." You can live your life as a work of art, a beautifully cut gem so tough it cannot be scratched by anything else, and with a flame inside that burns bright and hard. You can draw your appreciation of life from your own perception, and not that of others. It just requires a little effort. As a result, you will find happiness.

[Dilettante]

Why do you let other people put you in that situation? Our most basic instinct, and perhaps also our first ethical duty, is one of self-preservation. The decision to commit suicide cannot be a free decision. It can only be the result of intolerable pressures from the outside. It cannot be in your best interest to stop having interests. Think for yourself. Assume and correct your past errors, but don't give up. I don't know you, but I doubt that any of your past actions justify your giving up on life. Get help as soon as possible and take life by the horns.

[lifeisboring]

OK so ive attempted suicide around 12-13 times and ive never been able to do it all the way.Most ppl think im crazy but sometimes that over whelming feeling of why cant nebody accept me for me?Why do ppl judge me?It just makes u feel so alone and when u think of almost commiting suicide than suddenly that thought will i go to heaven or hell?Ive heard different opinions on that question and nobody has ever really answered it.If i give up will i go to heaven or straight down to hell?

If people think that you're crazy, then that's their own problem. Just ignore those morons. And please don't suicide.

[AlAyeti]

OK so ive attempted suicide around 12-13 times and ive never been able to do it all the way.Most ppl think im crazy but sometimes that over whelming feeling of why cant nebody accept me for me?Why do ppl judge me?It just makes u feel so alone and when u think of almost commiting suicide than suddenly that thought will i go to heaven or hell?Ive heard different opinions on that question and nobody has ever really answered it.If i give up will i go to heaven or straight down to hell?

blondiefreak890,

There are 12 year old kids and younger children than that, that need you. You have found the strength to not go all the way. You have self-worth that can be used to help these other people.

Don't give up on Christians. They need you. There are so many young people I know and have watched go from a bad situation to a good one. And they are still themselves. They have not been changed, they have just found others willing to care about them and have found a happiness that is truly amazing.

There are Churches all around you just waiting for you. With young people that have issues they are working on and maybe you are the person that will help them.

The whole Jesus thing is real and can find that fact in you.

[inobaba]

People judging you, that's a normal thing. It's something you'll have to overcome. Suicide means escaping reality, because your will is not strong enough. Yes, like people said, you only live once, value your life. I personally am curious about death, often wondering is there such thing as a afterlife, but if you ever go there you cannot come back. Enjoy this life first then move on. Your mind is a filter you can control believe me, unless it's a absolutely shocking experience otherwise if it's something you want to forget or chooses to ignore you will be able to do it. It's all about will power.

I hate to say this since I am debating on the exsitence of God and I'm not a Christian myself. But turning to Christianity might actually help. I know alot of people who turned to Christianity when they are depressed, desperate, etc. They later emerged as more jolly and confident. I do not think it's the "power" of God but the people there, it's like a mini-community that helps people gain support and confidence for their life. So yeah try going to a local church or something.

[c2u]

To blondiefreak890

I mean to sound like a shrink but you shouldn't care what other think or how they judge you. Now, I know saying and doing is two different thing but you have to try and ignore people remarks.

When do you feel like this?

When people say nasty things about you, what you have to do is try and tell yourself that their jealous and that’s the only reason why their mocking you and try to bring you down. Also, the reasons maybe that they want to feel better about themselves, so, they make you feel bad about yourself.

This shouldn't really bother you (the judging and the mocking) you should know in your heart that you are special and wanted in this life. You just haven't met the right people, yet but you will. I know this because I was just like you. I get teased and mocked everyday and I know that it hurt, badly. You have to take a deep breathe and tell yourselves that you are the worlds greatest person and the best. After you start believing in yourself and start knowing that you beautiful then days won't seem so bad. You just have to believe in yourself and don't give a crap about what say or even thing about you u.

You may thing that I’m just saying this but I know how it feels. However, I found some great friend that like for I am and what I am. Sure, they tease me but it is all in good fun. even if other people tease and say that I’m ugly, I just say to myself that I’m beautiful and I’m special, that those few words (swell as others) gets me through the day and my friends help too. when I speak in front of people or even walk go out with friends, I feel that everyone is judging me but then I say to myself "who cares?." you really mustn’t care what other think or say for the only things that matters is what you thing of yourself. No one else thoughts or views of you should matter. What really matters is what you think of yourself and how you view yourself.

You shouldn't kill yourself over what others think or feel about you. Their just stupid gits and morons!

I hope this brings some light to you!