Lust = Hell?

[camper1999]

I was involved in a non-denominational church for many years of my young life. In Sunday school, they taught us that if we looked at women lustfully, that we would burn in hell. I took this very, very seriously. Apparently more seriously than most people because now that I'm 33, I am so incredibly screwed up in my head that I have hardly ever engaged in social activities with women (I am a male)...whenever I tried, I either fainted or vomited (on many occasions). I am uncomfortable only with women in social situations. With my male friends, I am great. With female colleagues, I am okay. With my family, I am great. But, in social situations, I just cannot deal with women. This has caused a great deal of embarrassment and disappointment in my life. Sometimes I have suicidal thoughts over it. I have tried many anti-anxiety medications over the years and they are not working.

I understand that the church was trying to instill the notion that lust and sex outside of marriage is against God's word, but the manner in which it was taught was extremely damaging to me. I was wondering if anyone else out there has had similar issues.

This is not a joke. I have decided to finally try and get some help, but I am not sure where to turn. Please give me some guidance.

[JoeyKnothead]

I admit that I am biased, but my advice would be to chuck religion. While some Christian groups have a healthier viewpoint on sexuality than others, the underlying messages in the Bible about sex are unhealthy. Seek good professional therapy. American Association of Sexuality Educators Counselors & Therapists.

I support McCulloch's take. Seek professional counseling wherever you are, and if you can't afford it then look for free counsel, it's available in most larger cities.

[Vanguard]

I was involved in a non-denominational church for many years of my young life. In Sunday school, they taught us that if we looked at women lustfully, that we would burn in hell. I took this very, very seriously. Apparently more seriously than most people because now that I'm 33, I am so incredibly screwed up in my head that I have hardly ever engaged in social activities with women (I am a male)...whenever I tried, I either fainted or vomited (on many occasions). I am uncomfortable only with women in social situations. With my male friends, I am great. With female colleagues, I am okay. With my family, I am great. But, in social situations, I just cannot deal with women. This has caused a great deal of embarrassment and disappointment in my life. Sometimes I have suicidal thoughts over it. I have tried many anti-anxiety medications over the years and they are not working.

I understand that the church was trying to instill the notion that lust and sex outside of marriage is against God's word, but the manner in which it was taught was extremely damaging to me. I was wondering if anyone else out there has had similar issues.

This is not a joke. I have decided to finally try and get some help, but I am not sure where to turn. Please give me some guidance.

I'm sorry. Kuddos to you for your willingness to be open about it. We need more people of all stripes who are willing to be more honest about such things. . Though having been raised in a semi-orthodox environment that frowned quite a bit on matters of the flesh I am surprised I have as healthy an outlook on the "dirty deed" as I do :2gun:. Though I do believe counseling to be potentially helpful - I am a counselor myself - I would direct you to find comradery with fellow-theists who are not as affected by these sexual mores.

Breathe easy my friend. Cut yourself some slack. It takes a considerable amount of health to come out with it and you appear to have a lot of it.

[ConfinedIX]

I was involved in a non-denominational church for many years of my young life. In Sunday school, they taught us that if we looked at women lustfully, that we would burn in hell. I took this very, very seriously. Apparently more seriously than most people because now that I'm 33, I am so incredibly screwed up in my head that I have hardly ever engaged in social activities with women (I am a male)...whenever I tried, I either fainted or vomited (on many occasions). I am uncomfortable only with women in social situations. With my male friends, I am great. With female colleagues, I am okay. With my family, I am great. But, in social situations, I just cannot deal with women. This has caused a great deal of embarrassment and disappointment in my life. Sometimes I have suicidal thoughts over it. I have tried many anti-anxiety medications over the years and they are not working.

I understand that the church was trying to instill the notion that lust and sex outside of marriage is against God's word, but the manner in which it was taught was extremely damaging to me. I was wondering if anyone else out there has had similar issues.

This is not a joke. I have decided to finally try and get some help, but I am not sure where to turn. Please give me some guidance.

Camper, my advice is to talk to your closest friends about your problem. Explain to them what you've said here. Ask them for help with your problem. I'm sure they'd be willing to help you through this. After help if nothing has changed then maybe consider the possibility that you might be gay. Everyone needs help at one point or another. Just get help so you don't wind up doing something you'll regret, such as killing yourself.

[JoeyKnothead]

So how does one deal with this scripture:

Matt 5:28
But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

You're already in trouble, might as well make it worth your while.

[Ami]

This is not a joke. I have decided to finally try and get some help, but I am not sure where to turn. Please give me some guidance.

o be honest, I think this is something you should talk to a counsellor with. A psychologist, or a psychiatrist. Whatever you do, never try to seek help from strangers online. Seriously, there are lot of evil people who like to make things worse out there.