Just wondering

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alexiarose
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Just wondering

Post #1

Post by alexiarose »

Is the predominant Christian representation here so stiff?
Does no-one see the benefit in using humor as a wonderful tool?
Is the majority still stuck in the ancient world where archaic views rule and the churches think that individuals can't make up their own decisions on what thing mean?
Granted, I am only 19, but my goodness, if many views I have read so far here are an indication of how the rest of the country or world see Christianity, I can understand why people are turning away from it.
I am starting to understand what my mom talks about, and that is scary :yikes: .

Is there some reason everything we talk about has to be filled with doom and gloom or can we present some happy messages. From what I gather, most posts are started by either atheists or those who don't make any assertion on God.

Where is the love??? I think everyone needs a big hug and kiss. And guess what, there are smiley thingys for that:
:hug: :hug: :love:

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otseng
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Re: Just wondering

Post #2

Post by otseng »

alexiarose wrote:Is the predominant Christian representation here so stiff?
Really, we are?
Does no-one see the benefit in using humor as a wonderful tool?
I try to use humor on occassions. But, seems like few are amused by my sense of humor. :-k Which reminds me of my Santa poem that I wrote some years back.
I am starting to understand what my mom talks about, and that is scary :yikes: .
Starting to understand your mom? For a teenager, that IS scary. O:)

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alexiarose
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Re: Just wondering

Post #3

Post by alexiarose »

otseng wrote:
alexiarose wrote:Is the predominant Christian representation here so stiff?
Really, we are?
That is the question I am asking silly goosey.
otseng wrote:
alexiarose wrote:Does no-one see the benefit in using humor as a wonderful tool?
I try to use humor on occassions. But, seems like few are amused by my sense of humor. :-k Which reminds me of my Santa poem that I wrote some years back.
Give me your best shot a humor? I am game.
Your poem isn't very funny though. Perhaps we need to find a way to remind you about being young. Then maybe your humor will be good again.
Why does santa have to be a person. Now, I would never tell my little sister that he doesn't exist as a person. She is only 9 and that could be tragic. But santa exists in spirit. He keeps giving that holiday cheer. Why take that away.

Maybe that is the problem with adults. They take everything so serious. Remember Mary Poppins? Just a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down. Life looks so much prettier in color.
otseng wrote:
alexiarose wrote:I am starting to understand what my mom talks about, and that is scary :yikes: .
Starting to understand your mom? For a teenager, that IS scary. O:)
Just about all the doom and gloom Christianity offers here. Those I hang out with that are Christian see the good, not just the bad. We all believe in second chances. Nothing is set in stone.
Do you know how to make my mom not so sad? Yes, I know she is going to read this, but not until she recovers from her last doctors torture, so by then she will love me and forget about it (I hope).

Salt Agent
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Post #4

Post by Salt Agent »

Dear Alexiarose,

I have seem some people on some forums that are legalistic, critical, elitist and so self-righteous, that i don't even want to be associated with them. I have often joked that i would rather be at the pub with Zzyzx, McCulloch, Rathpig, or Goat, than with some who claim to be Christian who post on the Doctrine and Dogma forum.

I have had some really really cool private dialogues with atheists who are very very intelligent and some are prominent posters and moderators.

I personally agree with you that we as Christians need to take Christianity seriously, but not take ourselves too seriously.

For many nonChristians, they perceive Christians as dull, naive, incapable of logic, dry sense of humur, dour, sourfaced, irrelevant, head in the clouds and on and on.

I am one of those who would be considered by most to be very conservative and very traditional in many senses regarding Scripture, i however really appreciate humor, and believe God has a sense of humor and that Jesus laughed and told jokes.

Maybe a good thing to do is to post a joke at the end of our posts instead of some deep theological truth or quote by some ancient historian.

There are some websites, Christian, good clean jokes, but i don't remember the exact site.

The biggest problem is that many jokes are simply too long, don't have a context, or else they are directed against a particular denomination or Catholics, or subgroup within Christianity, and usually it is a point of deep division.

Personally, I am Calminian, which means that i believe that God is sovereign, but that man has a role and Free will, and that in our minds we can't reconile the two. Having said that, i personally like Arminian jokes. They don't offend me. Calvinist jokes are even funnier, but as i said before, it is often a point of deep division.

Here's my favorite Calvinist joke, and if you have any Arminian ones pass them along, and if i find the site, i will let you know.

What did the Calvinist say when he fell down the stairs and broke his leg? Sure glad i got that over with." LOL :lol:

How many Calvinists does it take to change a light bulb? None, if God wanted it done, he will call an Electrician. :lol:

I personally believe in Predestination. I believe i was predestined to be Arminian. ;) LOL.

Two country churches across the road from each other with the lighted sign announcing their hymn that Sunday. Baptist Church--"Will There Be Any Stars In My Crown?"
Methodist Church -- "No Not One."

Who was the smallest man in the Bible? Peter, because the Gospels say he slept on his watch. :lol:

What proof do we have that Moses used laxatives???
Genesis says "He took the tablets and went to the mountains." :P

A real sign on a church Marquee.
:lol: --"Tonight's Sermon -- What is Hell?
Come hear our choir practice.


I don't doubt some will be offended by these I have offered, because of the references to denominations. I offer this disclaimer, that any denomination could be inserted, and that any similarities to actual sterotypes of people groups or denominations are purely coincidental. If they really offend you. Sue me or Olsteng! :lol:

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alexiarose
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Post #5

Post by alexiarose »

Salt Agent wrote:Dear Alexiarose,

I have seem some people on some forums that are legalistic, critical, elitist and so self-righteous, that i don't even want to be associated with them. I have often joked that i would rather be at the pub with Zzyzx, McCulloch, Rathpig, or Goat, than with some who claim to be Christian who post on the Doctrine and Dogma forum.

I have had some really really cool private dialogues with atheists who are very very intelligent and some are prominent posters and moderators.

I personally agree with you that we as Christians need to take Christianity seriously, but not take ourselves too seriously.

For many nonChristians, they perceive Christians as dull, naive, incapable of logic, dry sense of humur, dour, sourfaced, irrelevant, head in the clouds and on and on.

I am one of those who would be considered by most to be very conservative and very traditional in many senses regarding Scripture, i however really appreciate humor, and believe God has a sense of humor and that Jesus laughed and told jokes.

Maybe a good thing to do is to post a joke at the end of our posts instead of some deep theological truth or quote by some ancient historian.

There are some websites, Christian, good clean jokes, but i don't remember the exact site.

The biggest problem is that many jokes are simply too long, don't have a context, or else they are directed against a particular denomination or Catholics, or subgroup within Christianity, and usually it is a point of deep division.

Personally, I am Calminian, which means that i believe that God is sovereign, but that man has a role and Free will, and that in our minds we can't reconile the two. Having said that, i personally like Arminian jokes. They don't offend me. Calvinist jokes are even funnier, but as i said before, it is often a point of deep division.

Here's my favorite Calvinist joke, and if you have any Arminian ones pass them along, and if i find the site, i will let you know.

What did the Calvinist say when he fell down the stairs and broke his leg? Sure glad i got that over with." LOL :lol:

How many Calvinists does it take to change a light bulb? None, if God wanted it done, he will call an Electrician. :lol:

I personally believe in Predestination. I believe i was predestined to be Arminian. ;) LOL.

Two country churches across the road from each other with the lighted sign announcing their hymn that Sunday. Baptist Church--"Will There Be Any Stars In My Crown?"
Methodist Church -- "No Not One."

Who was the smallest man in the Bible? Peter, because the Gospels say he slept on his watch. :lol:

What proof do we have that Moses used laxatives???
Genesis says "He took the tablets and went to the mountains." :P

A real sign on a church Marquee.
:lol: --"Tonight's Sermon -- What is Hell?
Come hear our choir practice.


I don't doubt some will be offended by these I have offered, because of the references to denominations. I offer this disclaimer, that any denomination could be inserted, and that any similarities to actual sterotypes of people groups or denominations are purely coincidental. If they really offend you. Sue me or Olsteng! :lol:
I am sorry it took me so long to read this post. This was really funny. See, humor can sometimes be the bestest medicine for all.
Its all just one big puzzle.
Find out where you fit in.

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joer
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Location: Santa Rosa, CA

Post #6

Post by joer »

The Wisdom Of Our Time . . .

It 's not whether you win or lose,
but how you place the blame.


You are not drunk
if you can lie on the floor
without holding on.


We have enough youth.
How about a fountain of "smart"?


The original point and click interface
was a Smith & Wesson.


A fool and his money
can throw one hell of a party.


when blondes have more fun do they know it?


Five days a week my body is a temple.
The other two it's an amusement park.


LEARN FROM YOUR PARENTS' MISTAKES
USE BIRTH CONTROL


money isn't everything,
but it sure keeps the kids in touch.


Don't Drink and Drive
You might hit a bump and spill something.


If at first you don't succeed
skydiving is not for you.


Reality is only an illusion
that occurs due to a lack of alcohol.


Time's fun when you're having flies.
.....Kermit the Frog


We are born naked, wet and hungry.
Then things get worse.


Red meat is not bad for you
Fuzzy green meat is bad for you.


Ninety-nine percent of all lawyers
give the rest a bad name.


<> One good thing about Alzheimer's is
you get to meet new people every day.


Friends don't let friends
take ugly MEN home.


Xerox and Wurlitzer will merge
to produce reproductive organs.


Alabama state motto:
At least we're not Mississippi

Gaseous clouds
have been detected
around Uranus.


ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE IS NO
MATCH FOR NATURAL STUPIDITY.


GUN CONTROL:
using both hands


The more I learn about terrorism,
the more I understand the phone company.


The latest survey shows that
three out of four people make
up 75% of the population


:D

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joer
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Posts: 1410
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Location: Santa Rosa, CA

Post #7

Post by joer »

Love THose Church Bulletins

They're back! Those wonderful Church Bulletins! Thank God for church ladies with typewriters. These sentences (with all the BLOOPERS) actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services:

--------------------------
The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
--------------------------
The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Water.' The sermon tonight: 'Searching for Jesus.'
--------------------------
Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of
those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
--------------------------
Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at
someone who is hard to love. Say 'Hell' to someone who doesn't care much about you.
--------------------------
Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
--------------------------
Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I will not pass this way again,' giving
obvious pleasure to the congregation.
--------------------------
For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a
nursery downstairs.
--------------------------
Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
--------------------------
Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the
church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
--------------------------
A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall.
Music will follow.
--------------------------
At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is
Hell?' Come early and listen to our choir practise.
--------------------------
Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of
several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
--------------------------
Scouts are saving aluminium cans, bottles and other items to be
recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
--------------------------
Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased
person you want remembered.
--------------------------
The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment
and gracious hostility.
--------------------------
Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.
--------------------------
The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They
may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
--------------------------
This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park
across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
--------------------------
Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All
ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S.
is done.
--------------------------
The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would
lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
--------------------------
Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please
use the back door.
--------------------------
The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the
Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to
attend this tragedy.
--------------------------
Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church.
Please use large double door at the side entrance.
--------------------------
The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new campaign slogan last
Sunday: 'I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours*

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joer
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Location: Santa Rosa, CA

Post #8

Post by joer »

I got this in email today. Many of the kids' responses craked me up. Enjoy. :D

Live Simply, Love Generously, Care Deeply, Speak Kindly

Slow down for three minutes to read this. It is so worth it. Touching words from the mouth of babes. A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds, 'What does love mean?'

The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined See what you think:

'When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love.'
Rebecca- age 8

'When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different.
You just know that your name is safe in their mouth.'
Billy - age 4

'Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other.'
Karl - age 5

'Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs.'
Chrissy - age 6

'Love is what makes you smile when you're tired.'
Terri - age 4

'Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK.'
Danny - age 7

'Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss'
Emily - age 8

'Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen.'
Bobby - age 7 (Wow!)

'If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate,'
Nikka - age 6
(we need a few million more Nikka's on this planet)

'Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday.'
Noelle - age 7

'Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well.'
Tommy - age 6

'During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling.
He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore.'
Cindy - age 8

'My mommy loves me more than anybody
You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night.' Clare - age 6

'Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken.'
Elaine-age 5

'Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford.'
Chris - age 7


'Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day.'
Mary Ann - age 4

'I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones.'
Lauren - age 4

'When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you.' (what an image)
Karen - age 7

'Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross.'
Mark - age 6

'You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget.'
Jessica - age 8

And the final one
The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife.
Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there.
When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said,
'Nothing, I just helped him cry'

When there is nothing left but God, that is when you find out that God is all you need. Take 60 seconds and give this a shot! All you do is simply say the following small prayer for the person who sent you this.

Heavenly Father, please bless all my friends in whatever it is that You know they may be needing this day! And may their life be full of Your peace, prosperity and power as he/she seeks to have a closer relationship with You. Amen.

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