Do you buy Christmas presents?

Zzyzx · Post by **Zzyzx** » Fri Nov 23, 2007 12:41 pm

Do you buy Christmas presents?

Why do you buy (or not buy) Christmas presents?

Beto · Post by **Beto** » Fri Nov 23, 2007 1:00 pm

These days I'm very reluctant to manifest my affection for people on specific dates. Christmas, birthdays, etc... I see no value in a gift one is already expecting. What does it prove beyond conformity to pointless traditions?

"Christmas" (as in an excuse to exalt family values) can't be everyday as long as it's on the 25th.

Zzyzx · Post by **Zzyzx** » Fri Nov 23, 2007 1:04 pm

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I disagreed with the concept of “Christmas gift exchange” since teen years (about a half century now). The whole idea seemed ridiculous and driven by obligation, guilt, appearances and approval-seeking – and still does.

If my wife and I want someone to have something, we give it to them – without needing an excuse and without waiting for Christmas. Between us we give things much more substantial and significant than objects and possessions. We want no presents from anyone and friends understand our position. A new acquaintance who did not know us well gave us a present (which we accepted graciously but reluctantly) and later, after learning our preferences, apologized for giving us a gift. We like it that way.

Part of the insanity we see in Christmas “gifting” is:

The “Average American” apparently spends a total of between $500 and $600 on an average of 24 Christmas presents (though one can find a variety of figures – up to $1000). Yet, the American “savings rate” is zero or below (save nothing or spend more than earn) and credit card debt is overwhelming many.

Holiday sales account for 25%-40% of the average retailer's annual revenue – and total spending approximates 200 Billion dollars. And, what is the benefit derived from that amount of money spent?

A friend who owned a small town hardware store told me that over a quarter of his business was done in the month before Christmas – a hardware store!

Many people have indicated in personal conversation or elsewhere that they disagree with giving gifts at Christmas (at least to some degree), but feel compelled to “give unto others” because they are expected to do so and they feel guilty not giving (especially when receiving gifts themselves).

McCulloch · Post by **McCulloch** » Fri Nov 23, 2007 1:15 pm

I moved this to a discussion forum, since "Do you buy Christmas presents?" is a question of fact not debate.

I only buy a few Christmas presents, my wife takes care of most of my Christmas obligations for me.

Beto · Post by **Beto** » Fri Nov 23, 2007 1:16 pm

It amazes me when people say "I HAVE to buy x gifts, and I'm running short on cash..." but they HAVE to buy them, everyone expects it because they all have to buy them too. It's an insane vicious cycle that even indebts people. Some of my friends and family were a bit puzzled when I stepped out of the loop, but they've come to accept it now.

OpenedUp · Post by **OpenedUp** » Fri Nov 23, 2007 2:00 pm

I could probably start a whole other topic on this, and maybe I will, but how is Christmas supposed to be celebrated? Presently, it's about buying gifts, but where does (did) Jesus's birthday factor in? I haven't seen a real celebration of that, well ever actually.

I'm not a Christian, but I still "celebrate" Christmas by buying a few gifts for my friends. I guess I really just do it out of habit, but I don't see me buying my friends many gifts just out of the blue.

Furrowed Brow · Post by **Furrowed Brow** » Fri Nov 23, 2007 2:02 pm

As I no longer believe in Santa I have resorted to buying xmas presents myself. This is hugely hypnotically as I regard myself the extremist of extreme atheists. Everyone knows I'm an atheist too. However I still buy for my son, mother and step dad. This is also the extent of my xmas card list. On the occasion I may have xmas dinner with friends of the family I will also buy them a card and a present. I think this is partly down to wanting to be liked and accepted. I've always bought presents for my son because frankly it would be a strange and unusual punishment to let him go back to school after xmass and explain to his school mates he had no xmass presents because daddy didn't believe in them. These things are not always about what you believe. My personal convictions come seconds here.

Beto · Post by **Beto** » Fri Nov 23, 2007 2:31 pm

Furrowed Brow wrote:I've always bought presents for my son because frankly it would be a strange and unusual punishment to let him go back to school after xmass and explain to his school mates he had no xmass presents because daddy didn't believe in them.

You don't feel you're sort of gambling with your son's developing intellect? I'm not sure the best approach is hoping the child will grow out of it.

After all, not getting presents for christmas doesn't mean the child doesn't get lots of stuff. I'm all for providing children with lots of toys and games to develop their intellect.

Furrowed Brow · Post by **Furrowed Brow** » Fri Nov 23, 2007 2:43 pm

Beto wrote:
Furrowed Brow wrote:I've always bought presents for my son because frankly it would be a strange and unusual punishment to let him go back to school after xmass and explain to his school mates he had no xmass presents because daddy didn't believe in them.
You don't feel you're sort of gambling with your son's developing intellect? I'm not sure the best approach is hoping the child will grow out of it. After all, not getting presents for christmas doesn't mean the child doesn't get lots of stuff. I'm all for providing children with lots of toys and games to develop their intellect.

I think bringing up kids is a balancing act, and I put pragmatism before ideology. I did not buy him presents in the hope he'd grow out of it. More for the fun of getting up 4am on Xmas morning. And also more to do with him not being the only kid in school without xmas presents. The last things kids want to be is different form their peers. Where we can help it I don't think us grown ups should force that on them because we hold some belief or other. However, I was the first parent in the infant school who stopped pretending Santa was real. I got it in the neck from the mums picking up their kids from school, because my son had gone around telling the class telling the others Santa was not real.

As it happens my son is now 17 and at present an atheist. He's also a cool dude.

As for intellectually development I always bought him stuff like chemistry sets and telescopes etc.

Beto · Post by **Beto** » Fri Nov 23, 2007 3:01 pm

Furrowed Brow wrote:I think bringing up kids is a balancing act, and I put pragmatism before ideology. I did not buy him presents in the hope he'd grow out of it. More for the fun of getting up 4am on Xmas morning. And also more to do with him not being the only kid in school without xmas presents. The last things kids want to be is different form their peers. Where we can help it I don't think us grown ups should force that on them because we hold some belief or other.

I know what you mean. But it's funny that I think my pov is pragmatic, since I regard christmas rituals in the same light as, let's suppose, baptism. It's definitely easier to just baptize the child and "mingle", but I'm supposing you wouldn't do this. But it's not the same thing I guess... To kids Xmas is just another birthday.

But I still think gifts (christmas, birthdays, etc...) have little meaning when given on specific and pre-determined occasions. People tend to never really appreciate them (except for kids, but how will they learn to value gifts if they always see them coming a mille way?).