*THE VAST HOMOSEXUAL CONSPIRACY*

[The Persnickety Platypus]

This is it. The day of reckoning.

There is no doubt. No more fooling ourselves. A haunting specter has arisen. It's broad hand casts a shadow over our societies most hallowed institutions, and will advert it's force at nothing short of it's ultimate goal:

WORLD DOMINATION


Religious Conservatives have been warning us for years. They have fought countless foes in the perpetration of their noble message (evidence, logic, facts, reason), yet bravely continue their plight of truth. Dauntless and enduring, their message miraculously survives today, even despite the hoards of autocratic homosexual liberal communist abortionists currently controlling our society.

Beware of Liberals; do not succumb to their evil agenda! They will try to smooth talk you, catch you off guard, lead you astray. They will inquire as to why "so called moral Christians" are not concerned with the "real" matters plaquing our world; global poverty, insufficient health care, the energy crisis, global warming, the national debt, inflation, malnutrition, natural disasters, plaque. What they do not realize is that it is the dreaded HOMOSEXUALS who are perpetrating all these ailments!!! It's True!!!

Homosexuals are stealing food from the hungry!!!
Homosexuals are injecting people with illnesses and stealing the government subsidised funds aimed at curing them!!!
Homosexuals are using up all our oil!!!
Homosexuals are melting to polar ice caps, causing sea levels to rise!!!
Homosexuals are responsible for the uncompensated government spending!!! They blackmailed Reagan into starting it, and are doing the same to Bush!!!
Homosexuals are warming the seas and sprinkling magical hurricane dust into the atmosphere!!! They created all the hurricanes last year, and are planning even more this year!!!
Wondering why your dollar isn't worth as much nowadays? Homosexuals!!!
Homosexuals have hi-jacked our education system!!! They are conducting new anal sex classes, and indocrinating our innocent children to their evil ways!!!
Homosexuals eat kittens!!!
Homosexuals seek to destroy the institution of marriage!!! Once gaining ultimate political power, they will decree that all couples separate and choose new same-sex partners!!!
Homosexuals order thousands of babies to be aborted every year against the mother and father's will!!!
Homosexuals are currently in the process of BANNING CHRISTIANITY!!! Don't be mislead by the fact that 98% of our elected leaders are professed Christians!!! Liberal lies!!!



Time is waning! We must do something about these homosexuals, lest they destroy all we hold dear! Now that you are aware of the full extend of the homosexual agenda, you are probably wondering what you can do to join the resistance.

(1) First and foremost, you must sign the petition. Upon signing, you will be admitted to my underground gay/liberal/feminist/abortionist/evolutionist/humanist resistance movement dubbed F.A.G. (Fight Against Gays). Further instruction will follow.

1. The Persnickety Platypus
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Our official chant (to be used whenever faced with a particularly compelling pro-gay rights argument) is thus:

"Man+Woman good, Man+Man bad"

(Lyrics by George Orwell)


(2) To avoid indoctrination into the homosexual liberal communist feminist humanist evolutionist abortionist lesbian dogma, one must wear a string of garlic around his neck. (I am told that this also helps fend off vampires. How convenient!)


(3) One must make their social stance known. A few suggestions:

- Make all your posts on message boards related to homosexuality. Never talk about anything that actually matters. Start lots of anti-homo/liberal/evolutionist/feminist/abortionist/ect threads, but never present any actual arguments or evidence. Especially evidence. Evidence is for liberals.

- Loudly exclaim "Ewww that's gross" whenever homosexuality is mentioned in a public setting.

- Stage obnoxious protests outside military funerals. Hold up signs with slogans like "God hates fags" and "America is going to hell for tolerating gays". For more information, visit http://www.godhatesfags.com.




Now, let's get some intelligent discussion going. Questions for debate:

1. What other venues of society have the homosexuals infiltrated?
2. What else can we do to stop them?

[melikio]

In the UK, civil unions are allowed. What country do you live in? USA?

In Canada, we went all the way and avoided the civil union double-speak. If a same-sex couple want to get married, they can get married. The sky is not falling. Traditional families are not being threatened. Religious groups are still free to discriminate on the basis of sexual orientation and on the basis of gender as they always have been.

And (of course) the same should be done here in America. I would not say/imply that America is somehow full of "homophobes", but the most vocal opponents of gay unions or marriages DO still manage to affect policy and laws.

Some people's attitudes here in America are basically homophobic. And the essence (not necessarily homophobia per se) of that social problem has been supported the religion/Christianity of many. In a nation (America) where so many are misinformed about its foundations (i.e. being told and believing that, "We are a Christian Nation...etc."), people group their religion in with the legal policies of the society. And many would claim that they aren't being homophobic, because they have not been taught that their "religion" into which they are deeply indoctrinated surely is. And this goes in nearly every direction from the religion TO people; from the people into the religion and then into the society at large.

I think that America's Founding Fathers knew firsthand the literal pitfalls of making some "religion" the Supreme Law of The Land; they knew all too well. And that is why although they supported freedom OF religion, they did not require IMPOSITION of religious doctrines UPON Americans. That is, religion is free to be practiced, but not necessarily correct to impose upon all American citizens; which is what SOME Christians wish to do, concerning more than a few issues including Gay marriage/unions.

I am certain about a couple of things:

1. The Founding Fathers weren't out to make "Christianity" the de facto moral-standard for this nation (they knew better than to do that, even from a social and historical perspective); this was not merely about how THEY felt or some now tend to "believe". They had clear reasons for knowing that any "religious" government or respect for religion over the rights of individuals, was (and still is) a massive mistake.

2. That America's Constitution wasn't intended to discriminate against "gay" people (as some today have caled for).

I understand prohibiting people from commiting crimes, and protecting people against them; but in the case of people having concentual sexual relations with another human being, there is most likely NO (real) FOUNDATION to support it morally or by law.

-Mel-

[Determined1]

Bro.......... You might want to get a grip.......... and a life!

[melikio]

Bro.......... You might want to get a grip.......... and a life!

Determined1, can you expand on this a bit?

I think it's generally against TOS to post as you did above; the idea is to share a thought most can follow, not to instruct people as to what YOU think they should be doing (or NOT doing).

I get the impression that you haven't actually read (at least) a signifiant portion of the thread.

-Mel-

[Determined1]

Actually, i apologize, it was late and for the life of me as far as I read I couldn't quite get whether this was real or a joke.
I finally opted for real, which i hope it isn't but IF it is, it sounds alot like something that would come from Hitler himself.
I truly should have just asked, my bad!
Blessings!

[melikio]

Actually, i apologize, it was late and for the life of me as far as I read I couldn't quite get whether this was real or a joke.
I finally opted for real, which i hope it isn't but IF it is, it sounds alot like something that would come from Hitler himself.
I truly should have just asked, my bad!
Blessings!

Determined1, I understand. I've been "roped" in by more than a few essays like that one.

I'm certain the original post (OP) was meant to be sarcastically-humorous; but with a purpose.

Often, one will hear far-right-wingers, religious-extremists and Christian Fundamentalists say almost ANYTHING, to paint a negative picture of homosexuality and homosexual people. I take it that the OP makes fun of that.

Here, you can find an often humorous (but not always) list of things quoted from various places on the internet:

http://www.fstdt.com/

.

I don't go looking for trouble with right-leaning Christians (or others) who view homosexuality in a negative way; but I do appreciate being reminded that some people can/do wield their religion and/or social values in terrible ways period.

I mean, some who are religious wonder why they often get so much resistance from those they "believe" are sinning, but very often the things they do and say (in the name of their values, scriptures or their "God") to dehumanize others, pretty much explains a good amount they often encounter from non-believers (and "sinners").

-Mel-

[Determined1]

I agree, and frankly, those that are this way have pushed those like me to try desperately to find another way other than "christian" to define my faith.
I was at a friends jewish wedding recently, and a mutual friend and his wife had the nerve to boast that "they" the jews were on the losing side so their money would not help them. Now money was NEVER discussed, just ignorantly assumed, and this was said of a man that they had known since daycare. I had no problem telling them they disgusted me and sat at another table.

[Lacey]

This is a joke right? Damn funny if it is.

[melikio]

This is a joke right? Damn funny if it is.

Yes, it's a serious issue presented humorously. I laughed when I read it also.

-Mel-

[reality101]

I understand prohibiting people from commiting crimes, and protecting people against them; but in the case of people having concentual sexual relations with another human being, there is most likely NO (real) FOUNDATION to support it morally or by law.

-Mel-

moral foundation is easy
any sexual relations, in order to be moral needs two things
1) concentuality
2) openness to creation

needless to say gay sex is not open to creation
god doesnt hate fags as some ignorently believe God loves all mankind
He looks down upon the ACT of homosexuality not the person it is not sinful to be gay it is sinfull to act on that homosexuality
again it is the act not the person
marriage is also meant to be between a man and a woman for the reason of raising a family in the image of God gay marraige does not have that ability because of the inability to have children or to create life

[AClockWorkOrange]

moral foundation is easy
any sexual relations, in order to be moral needs two things
1) concentuality
2) openness to creation

I think there should be an alternative to number two, and that alternative is the ability to nurture.
Surely you do not believe that infertal heterosexual couples are immoral?
And for all practical purposes, propogation should NOT be a concern for humans right now. We have...plenty of people.
Parents who can adopt abandoned and orphaned children seem more precious than those bringing MORE people into the world, and homosexual couples can be just as nurturing if not more so than any heterosexual couple.

Welcome to the forum, its good to have you.