Letting children decide for themselves.....

[Misty]

....about matters of faith.

My husband and I had grown out of the 'born again' dogma of our childhood by the time the children came along. We didn't attend church, but decided that our children should decide for themselves if they wished to go to church and Sunday School, which they all did. Our eldest daughter is now an Anglican Priest (not a fundie though, thank goodness!) Faith is completely a matter of personal opinion unlike other areas of our lives, so it is wrong to force a child to accept a faith, or lack of it. Both my husband and myself wish our parents had been that liberal instead of forcing their beliefs on us.

Do you insist your children follow your lead in matters of faith?

[ChaosBorders]

Do you insist your children follow your lead in matters of faith?

I probably will not be having children for at least another decade, but when I do, I doubt I will be very outspoken regarding my own personal religious beliefs. Most likely their mother will be Christian though, so it will be largely up to her the extent to which we try to instill a particular belief set into our children.

[McCulloch]

Do you insist your children follow your lead in matters of faith?

We have never hidden our beliefs about religion from our children. But we have striven to teach them to be thinking rational and skeptical. Secure that they have the tools of rational thought, we are secure in whatever decisions they have and will make regarding religion.

[oldkjv]

When I grow up I will take my kids to church weather or not they like.
I think that by making them go to church that it will keep them from bad influences.

Pro 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

[Goat]

When I grow up I will take my kids to church weather or not they like.
I think that by making them go to church that it will keep them from bad influences.

Pro 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

I think that is overly naive myself. It does not take into account rebellion and resentment.

[realthinker]

I believe that spirituality is that understanding we have that makes us comfortable with our existence and our mortality, and that it's a real human need. Those two topics leave any thinking person with some degree of uncertainty at times throughout our lives. Religion is one form of spirituality. I wish only to see my children spiritually satisfied, and I try to contribute to that satisfaction with ideas of my own. If those are not sufficient, I won't deny them their satisfaction. I won't sit idly while they engage in non-constructive behaviors, but I won't declare that only my beliefs are legitimate.

[realthinker]

When I grow up I will take my kids to church weather or not they like.
I think that by making them go to church that it will keep them from bad influences.

Pro 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

Good luck with that. My father tried that. When my thoughts didn't match his he simply declared that he was correct and I was mistaken and he left it at that. He could have perhaps discussed my thoughts and had a chance to resolve my uncertainty about our religion, but he never went there. He denied the legitimacy of my thoughts and lost his place as an authority over matters of belief. It took us 20 years to get over that. He's still devout. I'm still atheist.

[MagusYanam]

Do you insist your children follow your lead in matters of faith?

Don't have any kids, currently, and probably won't for the next few years or so. But I feel I'd have to walk a fine line on this question. On the one hand, I know as an existential Christian that I cannot live for my child however much I might want to, and I have to let them come into truths which are true for them, truths which when they are children they cannot know and cannot choose for themselves.

That said, I feel that children do need to grow up in a good, caring home. I think I have; I consider myself more lucky that way, or blessed rather, and I'd want my children to have the same luck/blessing. I think the best way to do it would be to have 'the religion talk' at some point, the same way parents are encouraged to have 'the sex talk' with their kids now - but I wouldn't dictate to them what religious beliefs to follow any more than I would try to tell them whom to date or marry. Part of loving them means recognising that that commitment belongs to them individually; my making it for them would be prideful, arrogant presumption on my part.

[oldkjv]

Look im a kid and no one is changing my mind about church.

You think im naive then when is the last time you have seen someone raise the dead in the name of Jesus!!

Well I have twice and both times it was my dad!

[ChaosBorders]

Look im a kid and no one is changing my mind about church.

You think im naive then when is the last time you have seen someone raise the dead in the name of Jesus!!

Well I have twice and both times it was my dad!

Then I would advise you to find a church that they enjoy going to. If you force them to go to one they do not like, there is very high chance they will leave the faith you are trying to instill in them.