How to convert to Judaism and become a Jew

[cnorman18]

Since others have posted how easy it is to become a Muslim here, I thought I'd explain how hard it is to become a Jew. The contrast may be interesting and instructive.

First, one must approach a rabbi and express an interest in conversion.

One will generally be turned away. "I don't do conversions" is a frequent reply, since many rabbis don't (it is an enormous commitment of time and energy, and most rabbis are very busy anyway). Another is "Some other time," or "Call me in a couple of weeks."

This is traditional. You will be refused three times before the rabbi will even talk to you. In the old days, the rabbi would chase you out of his office brandishing his cane: "Get out of here! What's wrong with you? Convert? Feh!"

They don't do that any more. These days, they just don't return your calls.

This is to see if you are serious. If you persist, you will have a face-to-face conversation with the rabbi, usually more than one--in which you will be discouraged from doing this:

"Why do you want to be Jewish? You don't have to be Jewish to go to Heaven."

"Jews have 613 commandments; Gentiles have only seven."

"The process is very long, and requires a great deal of study and commitment."

"There are people who will hate you just because you are a Jew."

"There is no going back; this is permanent. Once you convert, you will be considered Jewish for life."

"You are not just accepting a set of beliefs; as a Jew you will be committed to the whole community, to standing with other Jews worldwide."

"You will be expected to take on a great many cultural practices and customs that you may find strange and foreign to you."

"The specific beliefs of Jews are more or less up to the individual anyway; Judaism doesn't have a Creed or a specific set of doctrines, so why not just believe what you want and not go to all this trouble?"

In other words, they try to talk you out of it. This isn't to keep the community closed (though it is admittedly much more difficult to convert to Orthodox Judaism); it's to make sure you know exactly what you're getting into and go into it with your eyes wide open. Being a Jew isn't an easy or casual thing.

Most inquirers lose interest at this point. Many have little knowledge of modern Judaism, and the more they learn, the less interested they get.

In particular, finding out that "chosen" means "chosen for special responsibilities and burdens" and not "specially beloved" makes a lot of people lose interest. Being Jewish isn't a matter of getting God's private phone number. It's more like crawling under a magnifying glass.

Once the rabbi is convinced that you know what you're doing and that you really want to go through with it, the first step will normally be a formal conversion class, taught by the rabbi himself; or in a large shul, by an associate or assistant rabbi or the cantor. It is a real class, with assigned readings (lots) and many handouts. The reading is assumed in the discussions, which are most of the class; lectures are less frequent, but are sometimes necessary. Guest speakers sometimes come in for specific topics.

The class, which typically meets for several hours once a week over the course of a year, will cover:

* Jewish history from Biblical times to the present (even a cursory overview takes several sessions)

* The origins and relationship of the various types and branches--Sephardic, Ashkenazic, Orthodox, Haredi, Chasidic, Conservative, Reform, Reconstructionist, Humanistic, and so on

* The various documents of Judaism and the various views of them: Tanakh (the OT), the Talmud, the Responsa, Midrash, Aggadah, the Responsa, the Siddur (prayerbook), modern Jewish literature, and so on

* Jewish beliefs about God, the Bible, the possibility of an afterlife, and so on; normally presented as a spectrum of possibilities, and quite deliberately left open-ended

* Antisemitism

* The Shoah (there is usually at least one entire class devoted to the Holocaust, considered separately from antisemitism in general)

* The differences between the various Jewish communities worldwide

* The nation of Israel

* Jewish customs and practices concerning Shabbat observance, as well as

* The Jewish calendar and holidays; feasts and fasts and proper observance

* Kashrut (the dietary laws)

* Traditional Jewish foods

* Birth and childhood

* Bar (or Bat) Mitzvah

*Marriage and divorce

* Death and mourning

* Religious services and liturgy

There is, of course, much more. One can only scratch the surface in a mere year of study. Learned rabbis study for decades and do not claim to know or understand it all.

I recall no tests, but one is required to write several essays during the course of the class on one's response or reaction to the presentations and readings. These essays are not graded, but one will discuss them, individually and in depth, with the rabbi in one-on-one sessions.

Less than a third of those who began my conversion class completed it. This is probably typical.

When the class is finished, one has only begun. The class is preparatory to the main work, which is one-on-one individualized study with the rabbi. One's understanding of Judaism is deepened and broadened, and the rabbi will also ask you to reflect on and speak about your former faith and your thoughts and feelings about it.

This part of the process may require a few months; say, for one who has been raised Jewish and for whom conversion is little more than a formality; it usually takes much longer.

In my own case, I studied with my rabbi for more than a year before taking the class, and for almost two years thereafter. Since the rabbi was aware of my background as a Christian minister, my reading list was a bit more difficult and more oriented toward theology than that given to most potential converts. I felt rather privileged in that I met with the senior rabbi of my congregation rather than one of his assistants; I was in fact the only convert he personally supervised that year, or for several years before and since.

During this period of private study, and preferable before, one is expected to begin living as a Jew: attending services, "keeping kosher" to whatever extent one chooses, and so on.

At some point, if you are male, you will have an appointment with a mohel, a Jew trained in ritual circumcision, for brit milah. If you were uncircumcised, a week or so of recovery time will be required. If you were already circumcised (as I was), the ritual is called hatafat dam brit, and only a single drop of blood is required. It was quite literally painless (thanks, Mom).

If you are female, of course, none of this is relevant.

When the rabbi thinks you're ready, you will go before a Bet Din, a rabbinic court, for examination. In some areas, especially in Orthodox communities, such courts are formally constituted and sit regularly to decide cases of religious divorce and other disputes, as well as to ratify conversions. More commonly, the Bet Din is convened for the purpose under the converting rabbi's authority. It must consist of at least three adult Jews, at least one of whom must be a rabbi.

Mine consisted of my rabbi, the cantor (a worship leader; in Jewish services, prayers are more often sung than chanted, and the cantor sings and leads), and a respected layman who was one of the leaders of the congregation (and who was by far the toughest examiner).

One is grilled about one's Jewish knowledge, one's views about one's former faith, one's commitment to Judaism, and even about marriage plans and views on childrearing, if applicable (for me, they weren't). It sounds scary, but one is by this time well-prepared, and since the rabbi with whom one has been studying for years is present, it's really not much more than a formality.

After the interview, unless one really says something incredibly stupid (it does happen), the Bet Din will confer and then issue a certificate of conversion.

After the interview and the court's decision, one goes to the mikveh, or ritual bath. One immerses oneself three times, unclothed, in the presence of the Bet Din (for females, there is a sort of fabric covering the water for modesty); upon rising from the water the third time, one repeats the Shehecheyanu, a special prayer of thanksgiving used on special occasions, and one is then Jewish for life.

Normally the convert will get dressed and attend a short service in the synagogue with friends and family, where he or she will lead a few traditional prayers.

From this point on, one is considered as Jewish as if one had been born so. In fact, it is formally forbidden to refer to a person's status as a convert unless the convert brings it up first.

It's a rather long and arduous road, as you see. I took it, and have never regretted it for a moment; but, like all Jews, I have not and would not recommend it for anyone else. After reading this, perhaps it's clear why, aside from the conviction that it's none of our business. It's an enormous amount of trouble, and you don't even get a ticket to Heaven.

You do get to learn a lot of new jokes, though.

"Why did God make so many Gentiles?"

"Somebody's got to buy retail."

[Zzyzx]

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Cnorman,

Thank you for enlightening me (us). How very different from other religions.