Bury the dead, heal the wounds.

[jeager106]

I have but one sibling, a sister, she is now 66, & I'm 68.
We haven't spoken or seen one another for around 10 years tho we don't live very far from one another.
Sadly we got cheated in the parent department.
Mother was a psychotic closet alky, father was a rage-a-holic alky.
Mother beat us stupid, beat us till we bled. Dad never touched us tho we were scared silly of him.
Horrible childhood. Somehow sis & mom bonded tho mom would lie to me about sis and lie to sis about me so that sis ended up hating my guts in adulthood.
Mom married after dad died to a nice mild mannered man and drove the poor guy to his grave with her insanity and drunkeness.
She was an embarassment and when grown, I mean in my 30's, I avoided her a lot.
Mom inherited about 80 grand from victim #2. She told me about it so I took her to the broker who manipulated that into a quarter million. My sis learned of that and knew mom's will was a 50-50 split as it should be.
Mom had a stroke, became a carrot, brain dead pretty much.
My sis forged a new will, got ALL the chattels, hid mom in a nursing home, I never saw mom alive again. Mom died. I was never told but found out and learned I was BANNED from the funeral. WOW! What a nasty, nasty, horrible way to treat me.
I was so hurt, then angry, then resentful. Sis got everything.
I tried many times to contact sis to find out why she did those things but she moved, changed her number and so on.
Well I needed to make a trip, along one and on the way back took a shortcut.
It just happened to take me right past mothers house where my sister eventually moved. Just happened? Really?
I saw lights on in the house. Something said to me:
"Stop! Go to the door, when sis answers give her a hug and kiss and tell yer you love her."
So I did.
She smiled, greated me, invited me in. I said NOTHING about the past.
She didn't say much either. She did say the medical bills and nursing home got ALL moms money. Sis is really sick. Her health is failing. Her husband has cancer, c.o.p.d., and can hardly walk across the room without oxygen.
Sis looks horrible.
We exchanged phone numbers, held each other. I know she is guilt ridden tho won't admit it.
It dosen't matter any more.
Hell of it is I DO have money now. I worked for it. Got lucky and sold a gas lease that will now pay handsome in royalties. Ain't life tricky? I live with my fiance in a near mansion like home. She has a home in Florida where we go often in winter.
"They" live in moms old tiny house because they lost theirs to the banks.
All they get is social security disability. It ain't much. They are sick and broke.
I'm not real well as I have many bad injuries from police work but my health is generally o.k.
I feel terrible for sis and her man. I'll pray for them.
I know, and you do too, that I stopped there tonight because I needed to.
I needed to show love and not bring up the past.
I think God wanted me to do that thing, not so much for them, but for me.
Your thoughts?

[jerryxplu]

I am not the religious type and whatever but I think it is great of you to be the bigger man and not let the past define who you are as a person. Life is too short to hold grudges especially amongst your own kin. It was wonderful of you to make peace with her especially since you guys are pretty old now. I guess if you personally want to you can always try to visit every once in a while and if you feel extra generous maybe help out a little bit (without them knowing you are really well off now). Just do whatever you feel is right and will make you happy.

[jeager106]

[Replying to post 2 by jerryxplu]


Yes and I would help them, won't let them suffer.
I got over the personal anger, pain, long, long, ago.
Resentments mean to "re-feel" so why let some person, place, or thing, live rent free in my mind?