Greetings

[violentlygraceful]

Hello, everyone. I have read the forum rules, and hope that I can not only glean insight from the various perspectives of the users on this forum, but also contribute positively to the discussion.

Regarding my religious background, my parents lived a secular life when I was a small child. My father had been raised Methodist and my mother was raised Catholic, but both had stopped practicing their religion when they left home. I attended an Episcopal school from Kindergarten through fourth grade, but religion was never discussed.

My parents became "born again" when I was nine years old, and started attending a Calvary Chapel, and very quickly became heavily involved. They're a fundamentalist non-denominational denomination which claims that they're "just teaching the Bible". I remained in the church for 17 years, much to my personal detriment, because I truly believed that they had the absolute truth, and there was no reason to look anywhere else. I eventually concluded that the church has quite an anti-intellectual stance regarding independent study of the Bible and Christian history, in favor of pushing sermon tapes by the senior pastor, as well as other Calvary Chapel pastors.

This attitude, as well as continued increased involvement in the right-wing culture war in the US (they actually had Tony Perkins of the Family Research Council speak to the entire congregation, unannounced, and in place of a sermon), led to the desire to leave that church "get serious" about my faith. I wanted to know why I believed what I said I did, and find a church whose teaching most aligned with what I considered to be the truth. It was ironic to me, at the time, that it was this process of attempting to study the Bible without my previous biases, as well as beginning to study the history of the Christian church and the development of Biblical religion, which led to no longer being able to believe. I now see that this experience is far from unique.

Fundamentalist Christianity has caused me a great deal of emotional and psychological damage, so that's why I have decided to adopt the title "recovering Christian", for the time being. I suppose I have somewhat of an axe to grind with my former religious establishment and fundamentalism in general, but I try to remain civil. Thank you for providing the opportunity to speak. I look forward to continuing to peruse the discussions already taking place, and possibly start some as well. I hope the remainder of your weekend is enjoyable. Take care...

[LiamOS]

Welcome to the forum!

I must ask, though, seeing that you're a member of the LGBT usergroup, how did your religion affect your sexuality or the public and personal disclosure of your sexuality?

[violentlygraceful]

Welcome to the forum!

I must ask, though, seeing that you're a member of the LGBT usergroup, how did your religion affect your sexuality or the public and personal disclosure of your sexuality?

That's what caused the majority of the emotional and psychological damage. I was raised to believe that I was a walking, talking abomination. I concluded that there was something fundamentally wrong with me, and that I had to do everything I could to hide it. I also had to wrestle and struggle against these sinful thoughts. I worried about it all the time. This completely destroyed my self-image.

I hid my sexuality from absolutely everyone for ten years. I then started to seek pastoral counseling for what I considered to be a spiritual issue. It was during that time that I enrolled in an on-line Bible study course (from a fundamentalist perspective) which is designed to free you from the bondage of homosexuality. It did nothing of the sort, of course, but it did cause me to begin researching information about how various Christian denominations treated the subject, including those which fully accepted LGBT folk.

After I completed the study course (I still have my certificate of completion!), I concluded that worrying about this hadn't done any good in the past, and that it would be better to accept my feelings as they were. However, it would be best to remain celibate and in the closet until I have this issue fully figured out. It was shortly thereafter that an old friend of mine with whom I was recently re-acquainted introduced me to the doctrines of Calvinism, and in particular the concept of unconditional reprobation. I began to wonder if I had been pre-selected to go to hell, and that was the reason for my sexual orientation. I certainly felt like a "true believer"; I didn't feel like that made much sense. It was this, working with the continually building dissatisfaction with my church, which led to questioning the entirety of my religious beliefs, and eventually leaving the faith altogether.

[Lux]

Welcome! And kudos on breaking free from the chains of repression.

I know from experience that it is a painful journey trying to be something you're not, or thinking there's something inherently wrong with you (namely, I was under the impression that I'd be going to hell for not believing in god, and that I should try to be a catholic like everyone else). No joyride, I don't wish it to anyone.

You sure have a story to tell. I hope to see you around the debates soon


Is that you in your avatar?

[Kuan]

Welcome to the forum, it ill be awesome to see you around.

[otseng]

I have read the forum rules

Very good.

I eventually concluded that the church has quite an anti-intellectual stance regarding independent study of the Bible and Christian history, in favor of pushing sermon tapes by the senior pastor, as well as other Calvary Chapel pastors.

I'm sorry to hear that you had such a negative experience with Christianity. However, like with anything that is potent, experiences can be potentially destructive or constructive. I pray that with time, the negative effects will diminish and will eventually come to see the positive potential of Christianity.

I wanted to know why I believed what I said I did, and find a church whose teaching most aligned with what I considered to be the truth. It was ironic to me, at the time, that it was this process of attempting to study the Bible without my previous biases, as well as beginning to study the history of the Christian church and the development of Biblical religion, which led to no longer being able to believe. I now see that this experience is far from unique.

No, it's not unique. But I would encourage you to continue to pursue truth. And I believe that truth is ultimately not incompatible with Christianity.

I suppose I have somewhat of an axe to grind with my former religious establishment and fundamentalism in general, but I try to remain civil.

As long as you are civil and respectful, we allow great leeway for expression here.

See you on the forum.

[violentlygraceful]

Welcome! And kudos on breaking free from the chains of repression.

Thank you. It does feel good. I'm still getting used to it.

I know from experience that it is a painful journey trying to be something you're not, or thinking there's something inherently wrong with you (namely, I was under the impression that I'd be going to hell for not believing in god, and that I should try to be a catholic like everyone else). No joyride, I don't wish it to anyone.

I used to have that lingering fear as well. Once I did a little research and got a basic idea about where such ideas came from, the anxiety went away.

Is that you in your avatar?

It's Bibi Andersson from Ingmar Bergman's Persona, one of my favorite films.

[Lux]

Thank you. It does feel good. I'm still getting used to it.

Sadly, there's still a lot of repression going on for homosexuals, hopefully that'll change quickly with the legalization of gay marriage and adoption. But you've accepted yourself, which is by far the most important thing.

I used to have that lingering fear as well. Once I did a little research and got a basic idea about where such ideas came from, the anxiety went away.

When I was about 5 and first heard about Hell, I was extremely afraid, nightmares and all. It's nothing short of psychological abuse.

It's Bibi Andersson from Ingmar Bergman's Persona, one of my favorite films.

Nice, that's a great pic

[Icarus Fallen]

Well done, and welcome aboard, VG!

It's Bibi Andersson...

The avatar has a very 'gender-neutral' appeal. -- Interesting choice.

All the best.

[Zzyzx]

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Hi VG,

WELCOME to the Forum. I hope that you will be comfortable here and will contribute your perspectives to debates and discussions.

Fundamentalist Christianity has caused me a great deal of emotional and psychological damage, so that's why I have decided to adopt the title "recovering Christian", for the time being.

Condolences.

Perhaps it would be appropriate for you to request formation of a "Recovering Christian" usergroup. I have donated the required 500 tokens to you that you may use for that purpose if you so desire (or not as you choose). http://debatingchristianity.com/forum/v ... php?t=3281

One of my brothers went through the agony of withdrawal from organized, commercial Christianity as a result of rejection (actually asked to leave a church / faith to which he had been deeply involved) because of his sexual orientation.

I suppose I have somewhat of an axe to grind with my former religious establishment and fundamentalism in general, but I try to remain civil.

Many axes are ground in these threads -- for and against religion, with particular emphasis on Fundamentalism / Literalism / Biblicism.

We have quite a few NON-Fundamental Theist members who seem as opposed to Fundamentalism as Agnostics, Ignostics and Atheists, and who present a contrasting view of theism. In fact, some are "Agnostic Christians" and "Agnostic Jews". Their words may be helpful to you as they have been to me and others in forming a different picture of (and respect for) Non-Fundamental Religion.

In real life, it might be interesting to check out the Unitarian Universalist Fellowships -- a non-church "church" (if you have not already done so). I am not a member, but have attended a few fellowship meetings and was impressed by the intelligence, tolerance, realism and camaraderie in a VERY diverse group -- www.uua.com for starters.