I'm seeking the Ultimate answer about religion, and I hope to find the answer Here, right here on this forum...well, maybe not, but who knows...
I was born into a Pentecostal family. My father was a minister,and so I grew up a Preacher's kid. Like many preachers kids, I rebelled at an early age and went my own way. My father eventually left the ministry, (he pastored for Assembly of God and Church of God churches), got a regular job as a draftsman, turned to alcohol, separated from my mother, and in 1989 took his own life with a gunshot to the head.
Myself, I spent many years homeless and wandering, searching for myself and for answers. I turned to alcohol and drugs, slept under bridges, in homeless shelters, wherever I could lay my head at night. I contracted hiv and hepatitis c while being homeless.
In 1998 I went to truck driving school, learned how to drive an 18-wheeler, and spent 6 years hauling freight all across the United States. I've driven in all 48 lower states and have been to Canada and Mexico also.
In 2004 I filed for Social Security Disability because I came down with pneumonia, my immune system was in bad shape.
I now live on hiv medicines, and have cirrhosis of the liver from hepatitis c.
Since I have had hiv for so long, almost 20 years, the question of death and the afterlife have loomed in the forefront of my mind all the time.
Many Christians have disappointed me because of stigmatizing me over my having hiv and drug problems, and I also smoke cigarettes, which Christians frown on. I haven't really found the love that Jesus talks about in most Christians, although I must say that when I was homeless many Christian organizations offered food and shelter. I have never really fit in with Christian groups though.
I find it hard to accept the hatred that many Christians have for homosexuals too. I'm not gay, but I have been put into the same category because I have hiv. I know of many gay people who are really good people.
I think in the world, whatever religion you are born into, that is the religion that you most likely believe in. I struggle with Christianity, though.
So I'm here to learn, join the discussion, and share my opinion, which may change over time. I've been looking for an active discussion about religion and Christianity. I tried the yahoo chat rooms and Oh Boy what a mess that is to try and have a meaningful discussion.
I have pretty tough skin, but I'm also an easy-going person. I like to look at things from all sides, and explore different ideas and opinions. As someone who looks death in the face every day, not knowing if each day will be my last, I guess the hardest part for me is not knowing what comes next.
I think humanity in general has such a strong instinct to survive, that we want so badly to think that we live on in some way after we die, that that is how many religions are formed. But I also look at the wonders of the Universe and I say to myself, there has to be a Creator in this picture somewhere....
Anyway, thanks for reading this, and I hope to be reading Your opinions in this forum soon.
