My Testimony on my Salvation Experience!

[Saint_of_Me]

Hello All. And God Bless. Good to be here. I am a new member and wanted to share my testimony. I am a Born Again Christian after a lifetime of ardent atheism and sinning.

This is what happened to me a little over 18 months ago.......

Well I won't go too deep into it since from my experience I know full well that most people's "testimonies" on their God Experience, or their Getting Saved tends to bore others. Especially non-believers. But suffice to say I was in a miserable state; suicidal; gun in hand, ready to end it all. In a crummy motel room in downtown San Jose, CA.

I had left my wife about a week before. I had lost a business I had--a CrossFit Box i co-owned--from my own recklessness and sinful behavior. (hookers, drugs, all that cliche stuff! Ha!) For some reason out of desperation I picked up a bible. Part of my story here is it was given to me about an hour earier by a guy I never saw before or after downstairs outside my motel. I wont go into how he looked because it too is too clicjhe on how a human angel (I know!) would look. (but he did!)

He goes..."Take this...and do it fast. You look like you need it!) (I really did not look too bad. I am well-groomed and fit and was dressed in pressed jeans and a sports coat).

So I am upstairs, I had a couple shots of chilled vodka (only two! I was not drunk!) and I loaded up the Taurus .38. I opened the bible at random and came to the part where, when Jesus finally expires on the cross the "temple curtain tore in two." (I know this is a metaphor, btw--more on that later.)
So i re-read it over and over. Weird, how it struck me. Obsessed me. I had read it before and considered it just another fabrication by a gospel writer. (I think it was Mark).
My heart-rate speeded-up. I get a ringing in my ears. The room gets bright like a dimmer switch is rotated ion but the light is orange.
Now the good part..the curtain to my window, well, splits. like a laser was cutting it from top to bottom. I actually held it in my hand to try and figure out where the light-laser was coming from but it would just pass through my hand with no pain. I even smelled smoke. And the curtain DID smoke. My smoke alarm in the room went off!

I look outside and that bible guy waves at me ans walks away. I sit in my bed. The curtain is now pure bright orange light, but in two pieces. And the bible is open to that page on the bed and there is a trace--a path of light form the curtain to the page and it lit it up. So I go to the bathroom to splash water on my face and to throw some on the curtain! Ha! but when I come to, t everything is normal, except that curtain is torn int two, still. Wit the edges burnt!

I was overcome with a feeling of total elation and calm. Everything made sense. My state of being and how to get out of my misery. Well, it was gone. it was a narcotic feeling. A state of arousal. Peace with the world. Again, yeah, this all sounds cliche but I'm explaining to the best I can.

I sudden became very tired. Went to sleep and slept for a good 10 hours. When I got up the same feeling of elation was there.Total rejuvenation. I had an insatiable yearning to know God better and read the Word as often as I could. Which I still do. I got back on my feet within a week. Got my business back, everything. (but I did get divorced).

The motel manager accused my of burning the curtain and I had to par for it!

Thank you for the opportunity to tell you my Story. I will be more than happy to expand on any parts of it or answer any questions or critiques.

[Saint_of_Me]

[Replying to post 50 by Divine Insight]

So, you would do well not to try and tell me what I am. Or what I was. As you know me not from Adam. (LOL..see what I did there?)

It has been my personal experience that the majority of people who call themselves "atheists" are former believers who became disenchanted with God. So they now deny him. I will go further and say that, yes, technically the term "atheist" DOES men a person who is "a-theist" thus "not" a believer in a "Theist" entity.

But the fact is that MOST atheists REALLY do think there is a God. They have just become so disenchanted that they do not admit it and take pleasure in denying or attacking.

Many atheists have been know to engage in "death-bed" conversions.

Many psychologists and neurologists will tell you that the homo sapien sapien mind has evolved to the point where it is "primed" for belief in a god or gods. Some will tell you that it is nearly impossible for us NOT to believe. Some go a step further and say ALL believe, in one way or another. Ant those who claim they do not are in denial.

The evolution of the homo sapien brain--as well as it's "software"--the mind, is actually in my field of specialty in Evo Bio. I could go on and on about it. And get way more technical than you would like. But I will not. As time and space and the courtesy of remaining on topic preclude such a digression.

I WILL close by saying that as a kid being raised Catholic, I did believe in God and most of the dogma they fed me till I was, oh, in my early teens. Then my belief steadily eroded as the years progressed. By the time I was in my early 20s and driving a tank in Iraq and killing people I totally and honestly did not believe in ANY sort of a God. Simply put I thought it was all bullshit. Total fantasy. The stuff of Fairy Tales.

I put as much stock in the Bible as I did Greek Mythology. (I said so in many many rants: calling the bible "Hebrew Mythology.")

I gave Yahweh as much chance of having existed as I did Zeus or Thor.

I actually considered people who believed in a Yawheh God,or who were--worse!--young Earth Creationists, to be suffering from a mild form of psychosis. Or at the very least, they were delusional.

I was of this ethos till about 18 months ago. When God came into my life.

Now I am a firm believer that there is a Creator God. And he loves us. And we can come to know Him. And that at the end of the day, this God bares very little resemblance to Yahweh. (one vestige of my former atheist ethos that I clung to: the revulsion at the Yahweh God!)

Thanks. My God come into your life as he did mine.


http://www.patheos.com/blogs/friendlyat ... d-for-god/

[Divine Insight]

So, you would do well not to try and tell me what I am. Or what I was. As you know me not from Adam. (LOL..see what I did there?)

But I do know you from Adam. I've been conversing with you. I've never spoken with Adam.

You have clearly stated that you were an "Angry Atheist" who was angry with God. And so all I'm saying is that the very concept of an "Atheist" who is "Angry with God" is a self-contradiction.

Yet, you use your claim to have been an atheist to paint all atheist as having been just like you.

Sorry, but that's not going to fly.

It has been my personal experience that the majority of people who call themselves "atheists" are former believers who became disenchanted with God.

Fine. Your personal experience does not define atheist in general. And it especially doesn't apply to many of the atheists on this forum. Never was there any time when I felt "disenchanted with God".

To the contrary, it's been my "testimony" ever since I first joined this forum that even when I realized that Christianity and the Bible were false, I didn't instantly become an atheist. I still suspected that there might actually exist a truly loving benevolent God and that Christianity simply doesn't describe it.

So I didn't even become an "Atheist" myself, and I still don't claim to be one to this very day (even though you have already proclaimed that I am an atheist who was "Just like you".

But the fact is that MOST atheists REALLY do think there is a God. They have just become so disenchanted that they do not admit it and take pleasure in denying or attacking.

No atheists think there is a God. If they do, then they aren't atheists. They are merely believers who are confused about what they actually believe.

Many atheists have been know to engage in "death-bed" conversions.

Many psychologists and neurologists will tell you that the homo sapien sapien mind has evolved to the point where it is "primed" for belief in a god or gods. Some will tell you that it is nearly impossible for us NOT to believe. Some go a step further and say ALL believe, in one way or another. Ant those who claim they do not are in denial.

They wouldn't need to believe in the Hebrew or Biblical picture of God. In fact, you have personally rejected that picture yourself. And you even still do reject it even though you now claim to be a "Born Again Christian".

As far as I'm concerned, that's an oxymoron right there. But as you say, you are free to lay claim to any titles you so desire. All I'm saying is that the things you claim to believe don't match up with what these labels have traditionally meant.

Whatever "Born Again Christian" means to you is clearly something entirely different from what it means to those who believe that Jesus was the Son of Yahweh.

So I question the value of your label, since it clearly can't mean what it has traditionally been used to mean.

The evolution of the homo sapien brain--as well as it's "software"--the mind, is actually in my field of specialty in Evo Bio. I could go on and on about it. And get way more technical than you would like. But I will not. As time and space and the courtesy of remaining on topic preclude such a digression.

I WILL close by saying that as a kid being raised Catholic, I did believe in God and most of the dogma they fed me till I was, oh, in my early teens. Then my belief steadily eroded as the years progressed. By the time I was in my early 20s and driving a tank in Iraq and killing people I totally and honestly did not believe in ANY sort of a God. Simply put I thought it was all bullshit. Total fantasy. The stuff of Fairy Tales.

I put as much stock in the Bible as I did Greek Mythology. (I said so in many many rants: calling the bible "Hebrew Mythology.")

I gave Yahweh as much chance of having existed as I did Zeus or Thor.

I actually considered people who believed in a Yawheh God,or who were--worse!--young Earth Creationists, to be suffering from a mild form of psychosis. Or at the very least, they were delusional.

I was of this ethos till about 18 months ago. When God came into my life.

But now you still dismiss the Hebrew Mythology of Yahweh as being a grossly horrible picture of God. You've done so in this very thread.

Now I am a firm believer that there is a Creator God. And he loves us. And we can come to know Him. And that at the end of the day, this God bares very little resemblance to Yahweh. (one vestige of my former atheist ethos that I clung to: the revulsion at the Yahweh God!)

But Yahweh is the Christian God. The God of the Bible. So basically you are still in agreement with all the atheists who reject the God of the Bible.

Thanks. My God come into your life as he did mine.

If we're talking about possible Gods other than Yahweh then as far as I'm concerned God has been in my life since the day I was born and She never abandoned me at any point.

So for you to even suggest that God isn't already in my life is an insult to me.

Why would you even insinuate such a thing?

I never claimed to be an atheist in general.

But, like you, I totally reject the idea that Yahweh is God.

Apparently we are in agreement on that point.

So why you are "Preaching" at me saying things like "May God come into your life"? What makes you think God isn't already in my life?

I'm not wallowing in drugs, prostitutes, and adultery. What would make you think that a truly decent non-Biblical God isn't already in my life?

[rikuoamero]

[Replying to post 51 by Saint_of_Me]

But the fact is that MOST atheists REALLY do think there is a God. They have just become so disenchanted that they do not admit it and take pleasure in denying or attacking.

This is pure speculation/opinion on your part. Unlike with what DI said about you earlier, where he cited phrases from yourself such as you saying you were angry with God, I doubt you have similar phrases from most atheists you meet. In fact, I'd like to ask you - what of DI and myself? Do we come across as God-haters to you? Do we come across as somehow still believing in the god you worship, just that we don't like him?
I currently feel nothing for your god. However, in the hypothetical situation where he is real, I want nothing to do with him, just like in the hypothetical situation where Lord Voldemort is real, I want nothing to do with him.

It has been my personal experience that the majority of people who call themselves "atheists" are former believers who became disenchanted with God. So they now deny him.

This statement cannot possibly be true, unless you are personally acquainted with most atheists out there? No, what you might want to change that to is "most people who call themselves atheists that I have met..." At least then, what you say would have a chance of being true.
As for myself - no. I became disenchanted with just believing whatever the priests were teaching me was true, but that I realized was completely without support. I then moved on to do my own research and over the years, changed my perspective. Sorta like DI, I went through several different modes of thought. I briefly dabbled in Buddhism, I then believed in a Gaia-like entity for a while, etc.
What did not happen was that I experienced God and realized he's a jerk.

Many psychologists and neurologists will tell you that the homo sapien sapien mind has evolved to the point where it is "primed" for belief in a god or gods.

Did these same people happen to mention that there are survival benefits to early mankind to having this primed belief in a god?

Some go a step further and say ALL believe, in one way or another. Ant those who claim they do not are in denial.

Then I'm afraid at this point, there is no point in me, DI or any other atheist even talking with you, if you're stopping one step short of calling us liars to our faces, accusing us of lying about what it is we do and don't believe.
You'll notice that I haven't accused you of believing in some other god, or of not believing in a god. No, I've taken you at your word that you are a Christian, a follower of the god described in the bible and the religion of Christianity. It wouldn't be a productive conversation if I said, contrary to what you say, that you aren't a Christian.

I WILL close by saying that as a kid being raised Catholic, I did believe in God and most of the dogma they fed me till I was, oh, in my early teens.

Same here.

I put as much stock in the Bible as I did Greek Mythology. (I said so in many many rants: calling the bible "Hebrew Mythology.")

Ditto

I actually considered people who believed in a Yawheh God,or who were--worse!--young Earth Creationists, to be suffering from a mild form of psychosis. Or at the very least, they were delusional.

Same here. I think them to be lacking skills in critical thinking, in at least some areas of their lives. Some Creationists are renowned scientists - it's just that they ignore their religious belief when in the lab.

there is a Creator God. And he loves us. And we can come to know Him. And that at the end of the day, this God bares very little resemblance to Yahweh.

Yes, this god whose angel handed you a copy of the Bible and who caused said copy of the Bible to miraculously open to a certain page. The Bible which is composed of NT and OT.
Your story and claim of what/who God is might have made more sense if you had said the angel had given you a copy of the New Testament alone, or maybe just the Gospels. However, your claim of who God is not is muddied because the book that supposedly sparked this change in you is half OT. Why would a perfect all wise God have half his holy book full of errors?

[Divine Insight]

Your story and claim of what/who God is might have made more sense if you had said the angel had given you a copy of the New Testament alone, or maybe just the Gospels.

Even that wouldn't help because the Gospels themselves have Jesus referencing the Old Testament quite often, not to mention having him proclaiming that he did not come to change the law and that not one jot or tittle shall pass from law.

In short, handing someone the New Testament alone doesn't automatically free it from it's extreme dependency upon the Old Testament.

In fact, the arguments for the divinity of Jesus in the New Testament are all based upon claims of prophesies and lineage referencing back to Old Testament stories anyway.

There is no way to create a religion based solely on the New Testament and Jesus that does not depend upon the Old Testament. In fact, if it were actually possible to do that you can bet your bottom dollar that most of modern day Christians would have already created Christian religions based upon Jesus alone.

In truth, Jesus has no feet of his own to stand upon. The only thing that give Jesus any authority at all are the rumors that he is the Son of Yahweh. And that he now sits at the right-hand of Yahweh as the judge of humanity.

There simply is no way to create a religion based on Jesus as a stand-alone God.

There is no way to free Jesus from a dependency upon the Old Testament God of Yahweh.

So having an angel hand someone only the New Testament wouldn't help anything. The dependency of the New Testament on the Old would still remain as paramount as always. Handing only half the book over hardly makes the original stories irrelevant.

[rikuoamero]

[Replying to post 54 by Divine Insight]

You should note, I said 'might have made more sense' not that it would have made more sense.

[Divine Insight]

[Replying to post 54 by Divine Insight]

You should note, I said 'might have made more sense' not that it would have made more sense.

I don't think he specified in his original story what version or part of the Bible was given to him. Evangelists often pass out copies of the New Testament alone. It's cheaper to pass out the smaller books, plus it eliminates the need to address the problems with the Old Testament.

So now he probably just come back stating that he was only handed the New Testament and try to use that to imply that even you see the "sense" in this.

But, my position is that it would make absolutely no difference at all. And the reason being that ignoring the Old Testament in Christianity won't make it go away in any case.

Christianity cannot stand on Jesus alone. If it could there would be tons of Christian churches disowning the Old Testament entirely.

[Liteninbolt]

[Replying to post 6 by Saint_of_Me]
I am pleased to hear you have found a relationship and witnessed for God. As God told Paul, He is stronger in us, when we are at our weakest. A sad revelation, but it is wonderful God's Mercy is there even during our darkest times.

I can't recall ever doubting the existence of God, but loathe myself when I feel pity for myself, being jealous, being angry with hate along with the other multitude of sins that inhabit my weak spirit. I was blessed that my father introduced me to church as a child, though at the time I didn't understand the implications it would mean for me as I got older. Oddly enough, believing in God as I do, I continue to sin. I suppose satan will continue his onslaught on my spirit. The thing that keeps my hope alive is knowing God will never abandon me as He had not abandoned His Son even until death. It is likely I can not have continual peace because things of this world still entice me. I would like to add that I feel my biggest failing is that I have a hard time accepting help from others since my mantra has been 'pull yourself up by your own bootstraps'. This is a sad realization for me, because I let my pride be an anchor around my neck.

Try to hold onto God's Love. That shield will protect you through difficult times ahead.

God's Peace and Blessings

I would also like to add, please pray for me.