can you be Christian and bI?

[rapture101]

i know this sounds weird.One of the people I go to school with asked me this questian.So I became a little weird about it.I couldnt find the amswer.So what are your oppions?

[AlAyeti]

ST88,

Pedophilia is a sexual orientation.

Male to male is by far the most prevalent. And what was the word invented in the 1800's for same-sex sex? Homosexuality.

The very word "orientation" is by definition an action not a condition. It is a declaration of war for any decent parent.

The Gay Agenda and Churches. Pastors in Canada cannot read and preach the First Chapter of Romans any more. It is now a hate crime to teach Christianity the way it has been taught since the Gutenberg press popped it out. Well then again, the letter to the Romans caused the same reactions to the same kind of people long before Gutenberg. Nero (a guy who married a guy) wasn't all that happy with intolerant Christians "back in the day" either.

With the same kind of people rooting for the anti-Christians.

It's all happening again it seems.

Interesting little history fact, Hadrian, another Roman emperor, after his husband was drowned inn the Nile river on their honeymoon, went to Jerusalem, and after finding out what the Jews believed, had the Roman army slaughter them. Masada was the place that the remaining Jews, rather than surrender to a life of slavery (with all of the sexual depravity it held), commited suicide together up on top of the mountain.

Now kindergartens will get books about Timmy's two dads.

Can you be a Christian and Bi?

Only a repentant one.

[Amphigorey]

Pedophilia is a sexual orientation.

With nothing to do with simply being gay.

Male to male is by far the most prevalent. And what was the word invented in the 1800's for same-sex sex? Homosexuality.

Using this logic, you'd have to outlaw Heterosexuality because most rapes are heterosexual.

The very word "orientation" is by definition an action not a condition. It is a declaration of war for any decent parent.

Al, believe it or not, gay people realize their orientations at very young ages. I knew I was gay before I was 13. That is what the "Questioning Youth" label is about. No one's trying to "steal the children". But Iim sure you knew that.

The Gay Agenda and Churches. Pastors in Canada cannot read and preach the First Chapter of Romans any more. It is now a hate crime to teach Christianity the way it has been taught since the Gutenberg press popped it out.

Al, passing a Canadian Hate Crimes bill did not criminalize Christians nor make reading the Bible illegal. Curiously, it is only Christian fundamentalist web sites with their own passionate agendas who are making this claim. Why is including "sexual orientation" in already existing hate crime laws beyond the tolerance of these organizations?

I only hope you're not teaching history.

[ST88]

Pedophilia is a sexual orientation.

Male to male is by far the most prevalent. And what was the word invented in the 1800's for same-sex sex? Homosexuality.

I can't be sure if you know that you are contradicting yourself with these two statements. You are right in saying that Pedophilia is a sexual orientation -- it is very different from both homosexuality and heterosexuality. In fact, it is independent of both. There are male-male pedophiles who are also attracted to adult women, but not female children. And there are male-female pedophiles are also attracted to adult women, but not male children. What is the conclusion? If you wish to lump adult and child attraction together, as you seem to be doing, then you can't call these people bisexual because they are not attracted to different-gendered children in the same way. And since they are attracted to adult females, we can only assume that they are heterosexual pedophiles.

Furthermore, the statement that male-male is the most prevalent is demonstrably false. Where in the world did you get that particular statistic? All valid studies I have seen (& shown you in the past) have indicated that homosexuals who perpetrate male-male pedophilia account for around 1-3% of all cases of child molestation, and that the vast majority of all child molestations are male-female.

The very word "orientation" is by definition an action not a condition. It is a declaration of war for any decent parent.

The word orientation is indicative of the pre-existing condition, yes, condition of the individual. The previous use of the term sexual preference was scrapped because of its implication of conscious action.

The Gay Agenda and Churches. Pastors in Canada cannot read and preach the First Chapter of Romans any more. It is now a hate crime to teach Christianity the way it has been taught since the Gutenberg press popped it out. Well then again, the letter to the Romans caused the same reactions to the same kind of people long before Gutenberg. Nero (a guy who married a guy) wasn't all that happy with intolerant Christians "back in the day" either.

This is absurd and wrong. No one is forcing churches to accept gays. Do you really think that a church would submit to political pressure when they have God on their side? Churches are merely responding individually to their own situations, not en masse as a result of the homosexual lobby.

With the same kind of people rooting for the anti-Christians.

What does it say about Christianity that some Christians can accept gays and others can't? Who are the anti-Christians?

It's all happening again it seems.

Interesting little history fact, Hadrian, another Roman emperor, after his husband was drowned inn the Nile river on their honeymoon, went to Jerusalem, and after finding out what the Jews believed, had the Roman army slaughter them. Masada was the place that the remaining Jews, rather than surrender to a life of slavery (with all of the sexual depravity it held), commited suicide together up on top of the mountain.

Good grief! Now you are distorting history for your own purposes? Publiius Hadrianus (Hadrian) ruled from 117-138 A.D., a full forty years after Masada. The Emperor when Masada fell was Vespasian, who was a heterosexual.

You may be confusing Masada with The Bar-Kokhba Revolt, which was during Hadrian's rule. Hadrian is rumored to have been a (monogamous) homosexual. However, the revolt started well before Hadrian came to power (during Trajan's reign), and then intensified in 123 C.E., with Jewish guerilla forces raiding Roman areas. Hadrian's purported lover drowned in 130 C.E., and he was reportedly in the Middle East from 128 to 132. In 132, the revolt really got going.

By the way, the "belief" that the Jews held which Hadrian detested was circumcision (which Christian leaders had said was unnecessary).

[McCulloch]

The Gay Agenda and Churches. Pastors in Canada cannot read and preach the First Chapter of Romans any more. It is now a hate crime to teach Christianity the way it has been taught since the Gutenberg press popped it out.

Here in Canada it is not a hate crime to teach that homosexuality is a sin. Many Canadian churches, in fact, teach that very thing. It is not a crime for Muslims and Jews in Canada to teach that eating pork is a sinful behaviour either. We take religious freedom quite seriously.
However, it is a hate crime if you teach that someone should be discriminated against for believing differently than what "has been taught since the Gutenberg press popped it out."
However, it might be a hate crime in Canada to innacurately link the preference for homosexuality with the crime of pedophilia. Without evidence such statements would be considered inflammatory and inciting hatred.

[phoenixfire]

I'm basically saying that ALL people will have problems in being "Christian", as most define it. Something is wrong with EVERYONE.

But I know that God knows a LOT better than humans, exactly how homosexuality (or human sexuality altogether) must be dealt with in each person.

What some people think/believe the "corrections" are, very often aren't.

I have been a homosexual all of my life, and I've been through many motions to FIX my sexual orientation. I nearly lost my mind struggling

I was reading your messages. So you are a Christian and Gay? I would be interested to ask you some questions if you would be so kind as to answer them. I was trying to send you a private message, but I guess I can't until I have more posts.

I really do apologize on behalf of the church if you have felt left out, unloved, unacceptable, etc. by the Christian community. That is not right and Jesus would not have us act like that. But as you say, we are all sinners.

However, I do think that it is an issue churches are starting to think about and deal with better.

[melikio]

I'm basically saying that ALL people will have problems in being "Christian", as most define it. Something is wrong with EVERYONE.

But I know that God knows a LOT better than humans, exactly how homosexuality (or human sexuality altogether) must be dealt with in each person.

What some people think/believe the "corrections" are, very often aren't.

I have been a homosexual all of my life, and I've been through many motions to FIX my sexual orientation. I nearly lost my mind struggling

I was reading your messages. So you are a Christian and Gay? I would be interested to ask you some questions if you would be so kind as to answer them. I was trying to send you a private message, but I guess I can't until I have more posts.

I really do apologize on behalf of the church if you have felt left out, unloved, unacceptable, etc. by the Christian community. That is not right and Jesus would not have us act like that. But as you say, we are all sinners.

However, I do think that it is an issue churches are starting to think about and deal with better.

Gently I say this:

No, do not apologize for what Christians AT LARGE have done wrong. Only God can address such a massively significant aspect of reality.

What YOU can do, is to pay attention to the homosexual people who trust you with their hearts and minds. They need friends and people who will love them. Please don't try to FIX these people directly, let the Lord work through the LOVE and overall friendship you show.

Homosexual people don't just "feel" rejected, they ARE rejected. And while they have to deal with it just as everyone else does, the added weight of being assailed by just any believer armed with some (interpreted) verses and an attitude, is real.

I'm learning that some people (on all sides) are looking for a fight; I'm not into that. I tend to believe that REAL LOVE applied to a situation, illuminates it...because THAT is the character of love (the power God has installed within it). It mitigates our faults and limitations; and that is sorely REQUIRED when dealing with another person's heart/mind.

If I DUMP some verses on someone, and drive the truck away thinking I've accomplished something, then I really don't blame that person for digging their way out, and screaming..."SCREW YOU!!!...etc. Like I said, some people believe that everything worthwhile HAS to be so MAJOR CONTENTION between people, but that just isn't true.

I've seen the power of agape LOVE, conquer strongholds of many types...people SHOULD NOT underestimate its power to accomplish God's will.

-Mel-

P.S. If you have questions, please feel free to ask them right here; I'll do my best to anwer from the heart.

[jerickson314]

I didn't spend a lot of time justifying my human sexuality, to myself. I just asked questions like this (some for DECADES):

Do the following answers make sense?

1. WHY am I like this?

See here, here.

2. HOW can I fix this (to be like others)?

See here, here.

3. IF God is going to FIX this...WHEN is God going to FIX this?
(35+ years of this question, changes/shapes a person.)

See here.

4. Since I know many people are like this, why don't people (especially Christians) talk more openly and honestly about it?

I can't answer this question. People really do need to change their attitudes here.

I am not trying to argue with you. I am just trying to show you perspectives that might give you some hope.

A lot of people try to discredit claims like the ones I linked to, and you are in a position to evaluate those claims.

I realize there are different answers to a question like this (in the real world).

Do the answers above make sense to you?

And defining a person's sexuality isn't as clear-cut as it seems to one standing outside of the person. What some people see as just plain old sin, others realize is a part of them (no matter how Christians or others define them).

Don't confuse behavior and attractions. Only attractions are part of you, but only behavior and lust are sinful.

And according to some of the ex-gay material, you probably don't want to think of even attractions as "part of" you.

I think it's hard for people to look at all of this through a love-focused lens; they try to apply rules and their sense of morality to something that really isn't so easily understood or defined.

I disagree with you here. In many cases the "rules" are straight from the Bible. But often the Biblical perspective gets quite contorted into bigotry and hatred. This is unfortunate.

Like I said, as a boy, I didn't seek to accept my homosexuality. Frankly, I saw the way homosexuals were treated by nearly everyone, and I DILLIGENTLY SOUGHT to NOT be gay. That didn't work...and let's just say I've never felt STRAIGHT. By the same token, I haven't promoted the silly idea, that "gay" is this great thing; the WAY to be.

Was it anything like this stuff?

I was a follower of Jesus, well before I knew there was a serious conflict with most people's interpretations of the Bible.

The Bible does condemn homosexual behavior. I discussed this on another forum here.

However, it does not condemn SSA (same-sex attraction).

I knew Jesus accepted me as I was

Naturally, although that doesn't mean He doesn't desire change if you are involed in sin.

my homosexuality was a part of me, that went far beyond what many see as a "choice".

If you are talking about SSA, It is neither a choice nor a permanent part of you, probably. It may be like a broken arm if you fall by accident in this regard.

If you are talking about homosexual behavior, it simply isn't part of you and actually is a choice.

If there are "real" choices for many (not all) homosexuals, they have to do with abstaining and/or self-control in general.

Abstinence is an excellent choice. As far as the Bible goes, heterosexual marriage is the only alternative. This may or may not be possible, but the evidence makes it seem that it probably is.

It a "myth" that being "Christian", somehow makes a person un-gay...or some similar thing.

Right, assuming you refer to SSA.

Some may be able to shift their sexuality to some new/different gear as Christians, but there is no guaranteee or clear-cut method for Christianity to accomplish such a change.

Right, but there are some guidelines proposed by different people. If they don't work you can always abstain. This isn't sinful.

The overall truth, is that people who are "Christians"...deal with every type of fault that comes as a result of the "fall". We can't always cure ourselves or change what we happen to be; often grace and miracles are things we have to wait upon.

We should never resign ourselves to a particular sin, even though we will always have struggles until we die. I wouldn't call SSA a "fault" but rather a "temptation", BTW.

The ex-gays say that holding to a homosexual identity as "what you are" is a major block that gets in the way of change. Could that potentially be part of the reason you haven't changed?

[melikio]

The ex-gays say that holding to a homosexual identity as "what you are" is a major block that gets in the way of change. Could that potentially be part of the reason you haven't changed?

Maybe because it's late at night (as I'm reading the links you posted), or maybe I'm just overwhelmed by feelings of hopelessness, every time some Christian questions this part of my experiences in life.

Either way, I'm so tired of trying to DO anything or KNOW something to CHANGE this.

I realize that's hard to understand, if you haven't fought the feelings, thoughts and actions for the majority of your life, but I'm just going to have to say I can't know what to believe or think about this, at this point in my life.

I can see being saved; I can even see being celebate (even more as I get older), but I have NO IDEA of what it's like to be "naturally" straight, or to be turned on by a female in the manner most males are. It's like askeing me to taste the color "blue".

I'm so tired of discussing and debating...reading and attemping to fathom "myself" as a homosexual...etc. And BTW, I didn't call myself a homosexual (Christians made me aware of that); that's not something I ever intended to identify with, and today it's only for the sake of discussion/argument...which doesn't seem to settle much of the issues surrounding peple like myself.

I realize there are ex-gay people; and I know a significan't number of people don't remain "ex". I've not seen a reason, why or how I can or should torture myself anymore about this "aspect" of my existence. I have not enough energy, emotional, intellectual or spiritual...to put one more drop of effort into an ocean of something I can't seem to change.

What is it that people have struggled with for decades? I can't self-analyze, "PIMP" myself like an automobile and change this stuff. And if anyone doubts that, I can't argue with them; I've learned that.

I wanted to be an remain a Christian, but for lack of any better way to describe it, there will always be questions (especially from others)...whether or not I truly am.

If I don't have grace guiding me through this series of "mined" mazes that life seems to be, then I WILL fail and go straight to hell. I'm not faithless, but most times it seems all I can really do it beg God and cry about what I am (or what seems to have landed on me).

I'm tired of this; tired of trying to change what I haven't with God's help been able to "CHANGE".

Modified life choices? Yes. A total realignment of sexual desires and perspectives? No.

It just ALL seems crazy (unless I zoom out, hold still and look at a bigger picture than myself). The miracle in my life, seems to be that I'm sane, even after trying to deal with this the "Christian" way for all these years. And I sure don't mean that negatively, but doing my best to translate PAIN and TEARS into something that people can at least "read". Yeah, I can read all the clinical and detatched approaches to homosexuality that people link to, but what happens when you've done that all of your life, and NO CHANGE? What about people who don't become EX but MODIFIED?

I KNOW God can change anything, but He doesn't ALWAYS change things. When I was a child, the only thing I wanted more than anything was to "fly" (not in a plane, but under my own power). When I understood and accepted that something was wrong with homosexuality, I wanted that CHANGE, more than anything else. I have not approached life unconsciously about human sexuality (as many tend to); many who are straight tend to lean back and ENJOY their human sexuality (sinful or not). I spent the majority of my youth trying to literally figure out how to not let SEX control me; and it hasn't...but it is a burden to hear people tell you HOW to deal with this, when they weren't there for a thousand fearful and tear-filled prayers at any given altar.

I don't want to hear ANY MORE fact-ladden, hard, cold, legalistic views on homosexuality from Christians; I know I will...but I just wanted to express my desire on the matter. My heart and mind aren't closed; I figure I just don't understand all of this that so many others seem to know...but I will say that I don't want more people to point at me and say "repent" (like I'm some DOG, in lack of basic potty-training).

I don't have to argue this, and I really can't...I'm sick and tired of what this has done in my life and the lives of others. When I cry, it is because I've once again had to let go and let God run things. On a rollercoaster wearing a blindfold; but having the faith to get on and ride. Feels like certain death, but real love seems to soften the blows and sustain life. Sorry folks...just trying to put emotions into words...that is what I feel...(it can be done better on a piano, but words fit here; not music).

The rush of feelings will probably disipate tomorrow, but right now...all I have are faith, hope and the love God has sent my way in insurmountable ways at different times. And I want to show people who talk about homosexuality, what may be inside of anyone at any given moment who has certainly DEALT WITH IT (in more of a capacity than just knowing something ABOUT IT). How this translates into life/death (living period), isn't easy or simple to fathom, for anyone who has been charged with really understanding it and dealing with it directly.

I can't sense sexuality tonight (homo or otherwise); I'm just floating on a calm lake, made of my own tears. God seems to have given me a good canoe and an oar...I'll row some in the morning (God willing).

-Mel-

[Lycan]

Can you be a liar and be a christian? Can you be an adulterer and be a christian? Can you commit any so called "sin" and be a christian? Why is homosexuality any worse than any of the other sins?

[jerickson314]

The ex-gays say that holding to a homosexual identity as "what you are" is a major block that gets in the way of change. Could that potentially be part of the reason you haven't changed?

Maybe because it's late at night (as I'm reading the links you posted), or maybe I'm just overwhelmed by feelings of hopelessness, every time some Christian questions this part of my experiences in life.

I meant to ask an honest and helpful question. I apologize if I caused you hopelessness.

Either way, I'm so tired of trying to DO anything or KNOW something to CHANGE this.

If you are referring to attractions and don't feel led to change, do not feel obligated to change.

If you are referring to behavior, I have to say that sin is sin. If only it weren't so...

I realize that's hard to understand, if you haven't fought the feelings, thoughts and actions for the majority of your life, but I'm just going to have to say I can't know what to believe or think about this, at this point in my life.

I hope you can work it out.

I can see being saved; I can even see being celebate (even more as I get older), but I have NO IDEA of what it's like to be "naturally" straight, or to be turned on by a female in the manner most males are. It's like askeing me to taste the color "blue".

I never said you had to be straight. I just said this appears to be possible.

I'm so tired of discussing and debating...reading and attemping to fathom "myself" as a homosexual...etc. And BTW, I didn't call myself a homosexual (Christians made me aware of that); that's not something I ever intended to identify with, and today it's only for the sake of discussion/argument...which doesn't seem to settle much of the issues surrounding peple like myself.

OK. This does make it appear that the identity part probably isn't your real problem.

I realize there are ex-gay people; and I know a significan't number of people don't remain "ex".

Significant, but they seem to be in the minority, in the case that they actually were "ex".

I've not seen a reason, why or how I can or should torture myself anymore about this "aspect" of my existence. I have not enough energy, emotional, intellectual or spiritual...to put one more drop of effort into an ocean of something I can't seem to change.

There are people who claim that their attempts to change SSA really just didn't work. If this is the case, celibacy is the Biblical choice. Not burnout.

What is it that people have struggled with for decades? I can't self-analyze, "PIMP" myself like an automobile and change this stuff. And if anyone doubts that, I can't argue with them; I've learned that.

I don't make that claim. I have seen (especially from the PeopleCanChange web site) that emotionally intimate connection with straight male friends who can accept you for who you are as Christ does are critical to the process of change. If you don't have people like that in your life, it would certainly make change difficult. Even if this is because of the other people and not because of you.

Ex-gays also seem to say that trying to change by yourself always ends in failure.

I wanted to be an remain a Christian, but for lack of any better way to describe it, there will always be questions (especially from others)...whether or not I truly am.

I will be clear that being SSA certainly doesn't mean you aren't a Christian. Homosexual behavior might not mean this either, but that doesn't mean it is OK. Everyone does things that are not OK (Romans 3:23).

If you have accepted Christ's gift and trust him with your life, you are a Christian. This remains true even if you have struggles. Everyone has struggles. Find a straight male who has not once struggled with lust. Chances are, you won't be able to.

If I don't have grace guiding me through this series of "mined" mazes that life seems to be, then I WILL fail and go straight to hell. I'm not faithless, but most times it seems all I can really do it beg God and cry about what I am (or what seems to have landed on me).

Failure is not what sends one to hell. A refusal to accept the free gift of salvation from Christ is.

Shame over SSA is not good. Find straight friends who will accept you, SSA and all.

I'm tired of this; tired of trying to change what I haven't with God's help been able to "CHANGE".

Modified life choices? Yes. A total realignment of sexual desires and perspectives? No.

You may not need to stop being SSA. It simply isn't true that "straight" means "morally right". Adultery, fornication, lust, the list goes on. Straight people struggle with temptations to sin in heterosexual ways. You struggle with temptations to sin in homosexual ways. Neither struggle is "better" or "worse" than the other, although your struggle may be more difficult because you have less support.

Modified life choices is all God really expects. And He understands your failures better than I ever could, and loves you nonetheless.

It just ALL seems crazy (unless I zoom out, hold still and look at a bigger picture than myself). The miracle in my life, seems to be that I'm sane, even after trying to deal with this the "Christian" way for all these years. And I sure don't mean that negatively, but doing my best to translate PAIN and TEARS into something that people can at least "read". Yeah, I can read all the clinical and detatched approaches to homosexuality that people link to, but what happens when you've done that all of your life, and NO CHANGE? What about people who don't become EX but MODIFIED?

Having others understand your pain and accept you is important.

And the "peoplecanchange" links aren't so much "clinical" and "detached". This site was written by people who used to be like you. People who tried to change and thought they couldn't. People who cried through the night, wondering why no one understood. But people who found the approach that did work for them, and who want others to be able to benefit and experience joy like they experienced.

It's possible that change may be impossible for some. If this happens to be the case for you, then you will have to learn to live with your SSA. It will be hard, but everyone has hard experiences in life. Yours might be harder than most, but you will be all the more satisfied if you enter heaven and hear "well done, good and faithful servant!" And when all the people who rejected and ridiculed you, but who accepted Christ, repent and apologize for their sins against you.

But it's also possible that you have been trying all the wrong things. I really don't know enough about you to make any sort of conclusion.

I KNOW God can change anything, but He doesn't ALWAYS change things. When I was a child, the only thing I wanted more than anything was to "fly" (not in a plane, but under my own power).

He certainly doesn't always change things. And sometimes He makes us work for change and do what we don't want to. This may or may not be the case with you. It might even be His will that you continue to have SSA, potentially. Would staying SSA allow you to be more compassionate towards homosexuals who desperately need Him, for instance? I cannot claim to know the mind of God on this one.

You might also want to look more at http://www.becomingreal.org. A lot of the material seems to be intended to encourage those who can't change, and the whole seems to show quite a bit of compassion. The articles I linked you to were more cold and clinical than most of the rest of the site.

When I understood and accepted that something was wrong with homosexuality, I wanted that CHANGE, more than anything else.

Which definition of "homsexuality", attraction or behavior? I can understand your desire to change either way. Behavior can be changed, but perhaps attraction cannot for everyone.

I have not approached life unconsciously about human sexuality (as many tend to); many who are straight tend to lean back and ENJOY their human sexuality (sinful or not). I spent the majority of my youth trying to literally figure out how to not let SEX control me; and it hasn't...

The heterosexual has a parallel struggle. Lust is an issue for every guy, gay or straight. As you pointed out, it can be sinful to enjoy straight sexuality. And we do have Biblical evidence (from both Paul and Jesus) that sex is not a gift for everyone, and that celibacy is in fact better for those who can handle it.

I must admit, but I haven't really had much trouble figuring out how to not let sex control me. It could be that the emotional pain behind homosexuality makes the struggle a more difficult one. There are plenty of other areas where homosexuality doesn't parallel heterosexuality, as we would expect when comparing an area that is always sinful (behaviorally) to an area that is sometimes sinful (behaviorally again).

but it is a burden to hear people tell you HOW to deal with this, when they weren't there for a thousand fearful and tear-filled prayers at any given altar.

Some of the ex-gays who write the web pages are those who were there for all the tears. I don't claim to know whether the right approach for you is to accept your SSA or to try a different path to change, though.

I don't want to hear ANY MORE fact-ladden, hard, cold, legalistic views on homosexuality from Christians; I know I will...but I just wanted to express my desire on the matter.

I'm trying not to be legalistic, but rather to understand your pain a bit better. But nonetheless, I don't see a problem with pointing out what the evidence clearly shows in cases like homosexual behavior. And I was trying to point you to the views that aren't so hard, cold, and legalistic.

My heart and mind aren't closed; I figure I just don't understand all of this that so many others seem to know...but I will say that I don't want more people to point at me and say "repent" (like I'm some DOG, in lack of basic potty-training).

1 If I speak with the languages of men and of angels, but don’t have love, I have become sounding brass, or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy, and know all mysteries and all knowledge; and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but don’t have love, I am nothing. 3 If I dole out all my goods to feed the poor, and if I give my body to be burned, but don’t have love, it profits me nothing.

Sounds like what you are talking about, doesn't it? You need people to respect you and your dignity.

I don't have to argue this, and I really can't...I'm sick and tired of what this has done in my life and the lives of others.

That is unfortunate.

When I cry, it is because I've once again had to let go and let God run things. On a rollercoaster wearing a blindfold; but having the faith to get on and ride. Feels like certain death, but real love seems to soften the blows and sustain life.

If only we could all feel the same desperation for God. This is the downside of living in an affluent nation. I know it must be hard for you and would be hard for you, but sometimes the best things in life are the hardes.

The rush of feelings will probably disipate tomorrow, but right now...all I have are faith, hope and the love God has sent my way in insurmountable ways at different times.

And those are great things!

And I want to show people who talk about homosexuality, what may be inside of anyone at any given moment who has certainly DEALT WITH IT (in more of a capacity than just knowing something ABOUT IT).

And this is what I'd like to be able to understand better.

How this translates into life/death (living period), isn't easy or simple to fathom, for anyone who has been charged with really understanding it and dealing with it directly.

Naturally. Although I think that Biblical revalation coupled with the stories of homosexuals actually can give us a good grasp.

I can't sense sexuality tonight (homo or otherwise); I'm just floating on a calm lake, made of my own tears. God seems to have given me a good canoe and an oar...I'll row some in the morning (God willing).

I hope you get some relief.

Rejection from other males is a widely recognized cause of SSA. You certainly do sound like you've had a lot of this.

Is your pain the cause or the effect of SSA, or both?

I recognize that cold rejection from many people is a problem for you. I'm trying not to be like that.