it it ok...

[reggie jax]

i know it says adultery is wrong but sex outside of marraige is adultery so that ship's sailed already. what i wanna know is, if there's a really hot girl, and she supposedly cheats on her husband already, is it ok to do the nasty with her, considering she's already a cheater?

[reggie jax]

Quick fun...

I think that secular morality cannot offer you any advice here. Your desire for sex with a hot girl is not going to impact the human race all that much, so I don't see how they can justify a moral code in this situation. But, this is what I've been saying all along. If humanity became largely atheistic, out go many of the moral codes that make up society.

I would argue that adultery is not just a violation of an invented moral code, but moral codes actually exist. If you violate them, then you'll eventually experience a hysteresis effect that comes from breaking those codes. How and when might be in doubt, but the effect is certain.

My recommendation is to seek spiritual truths and hold onto them with all that you have by living them each and every day. This way of life also has a hysteresis effect that not only improves your life, but improves all those who come in contact with you.

what is hysterisis? i've never heard of that before.

[harvey1]

I've never heard of that before.

It's a lagging reaction that comes about naturally.

[reggie jax]

I've never heard of that before.

It's a lagging reaction that comes about naturally.

So what are you saying, karma's a bitch?

[reggie jax]

I've never heard of that before.

It's a lagging reaction that comes about naturally.

So what are you saying? Karma's a bitch?

[McCulloch]

If you are asking for moral guidance, then I would say that you would be better off to be sure before you get involved. Do you know if the marriage is breaking up? Are they in the process of getting a divorce? Have they separated?

I don't know, we never talk about her husband..
I want to find out but i don't want to ask her cause i'm afriad of how she's going to react.

If you do not ask her, then you have no basis on which to determine if your actions may or may not hurt someone's feelings or destroy a relationship. If your relationship with this woman is so shallow that you cannot discuss her other relationships, then I think you have no moral basis to proceed with behaviour which may or may not hurt someone's feelings or destroy a relationship, according to the moral principles you yourself claim to have.

I think sex outside marriage is ok. I would never cheat on my spouse, and i think cheating's wrong, but only if the relationship is geniune.

I am still confused by some ambiguity here. You say you would never cheat on your spouse. Does that mean that you would never cheat on your spouse or does that mean that you would not cheat on your spouse unless you thought that the relationship with your spouse was no longer genuine?

I don't get your logic. So just cause i'm looking for quick fun and don't want a relationship, that means i can't/don't care about hurting people? If i recognize her as a human being, we can't have a fling or be friends with benefits?

If you recognize her as a human being and you are sure that you would not be hurting anyone's feelings or destroying anyone's relationship, then I see no moral problem. But, you have already indicated that you really don't know the consequences of what you intend to do.

I am quite curious as to why you are asking. You already know what the Christian's answer would be; Adultery is wrong because the Christian God has said that it is wrong. You have already decided that you do not accept that particular moral code. What are you looking for? A Christian to tell you that you are a sinner and need to repent? Someone to give you permission to do what you already might think is wrong?

[harvey1]

...I see no moral problem.

Tsk... tsk... McCulloch.

I am quite curious as to why you are asking. You already know what the Christian's answer would be; Adultery is wrong because the Christian God has said that it is wrong. You have already decided that you do not accept that particular moral code. What are you looking for? A Christian to tell you that you are a sinner and need to repent? Someone to give you permission to do what you already might think is wrong?

I don't wish to put words in your mouth, but your response looks like this:

Geez. Give us secularists a break. We have no moral code to found our morals, you're just supposed to know what is your moral code. If you want someone to tell you what to do then ask a Christian since they have a moral code. Me, I'm just trying to get through the day here.

[Goat]

i know it says adultery is wrong but sex outside of marraige is adultery so that ship's sailed already. what i wanna know is, if there's a really hot girl, and she supposedly cheats on her husband already, is it ok to do the nasty with her, considering she's already a cheater?

Do you understand the consequences of your action? What about potential pregnancy, or disease (if she is a cheater, or her husband also is a cheater, disease is a possibility). How about being chased with a machete, or shot at? I do know one person who was killed by a jealous husband. Do you want to go there?

[McCulloch]

...I see no moral problem.

Tsk... tsk... McCulloch.

If you read my qualifiers, then you would have noticed that I am basing this statement on my humanist ethical code. I have no moral problem with two adult consenting people participating in an activity which has no harmful effects on others.

Geez. Give us secularists a break. We have no moral code to found our morals, you're just supposed to know what is your moral code. If you want someone to tell you what to do then ask a Christian since they have a moral code. Me, I'm just trying to get through the day here.

No, I was wondering about reggie jax's motivations about posting here. I do have my own system of ethics, but I was first exploring reggie's own ethics with regard to this situation because ultimately, it is his ethical code which will have the greatest impact on his behaviour.

[reggie jax]

If you do not ask her, then you have no basis on which to determine if your actions may or may not hurt someone's feelings or destroy a relationship. If your relationship with this woman is so shallow that you cannot discuss her other relationships, then I think you have no moral basis to proceed with behaviour which may or may not hurt someone's feelings or destroy a relationship, according to the moral principles you yourself claim to have.

Yeah, I'm going to ask her and see what she says. Might tell me to fuck off.

I am still confused by some ambiguity here. You say you would never cheat on your spouse. Does that mean that you would never cheat on your spouse or does that mean that you would not cheat on your spouse unless you thought that the relationship with your spouse was no longer genuine?

No, guess i worded it wrong. I personally would never cheat on MY spouse, if someone more appealing came along and our relationship wasn't genuine i'd either see if we can have an open relationship or end it. I also think it's wrong to cheat with other people's spouses, but only because it could be tainting a truly genuine relationship. I wouldn't want to hurt any feelings either. If it's a loveless marriage or a wrecked marriage then i don't know if this still applies.

If you recognize her as a human being and you are sure that you would not be hurting anyone's feelings or destroying anyone's relationship, then I see no moral problem. But, you have already indicated that you really don't know the consequences of what you intend to do.

Right. I plan to find out. I might just call the whole thing off, i dunno.

I am quite curious as to why you are asking. You already know what the Christian's answer would be; Adultery is wrong because the Christian God has said that it is wrong. You have already decided that you do not accept that particular moral code. What are you looking for? A Christian to tell you that you are a sinner and need to repent? Someone to give you permission to do what you already might think is wrong?

I'm not looking for any one person to tell me what to do. I'm looking for opinions on if doing this would be wrong or not. I know that i could rationalize it in my own mind, people say "you know it's wrong" and all that but when it's a matter of acting on it or not, rationalization is easy. I just want insight, and i want people who think it's wrong to tell me why they think its wrong, and people who think it's ok to tell me why they think it's ok. I already got people telling me "go for it" on another site, i'm not just lookin for permission.

[reggie jax]

Do you understand the consequences of your action? What about potential pregnancy, or disease (if she is a cheater, or her husband also is a cheater, disease is a possibility). How about being chased with a machete, or shot at? I do know one person who was killed by a jealous husband. Do you want to go there?

yeah, i get all that stuff.