Hello! Question from the newbie

[Bekki659]

Hello there! My name is Becky.

My current situation in life feels rather empty... I grew up being drug around to various churches of the Christian faith; Methodist with my grandmother, Presbyterian with my mother, my father not going to any church. Like any kid, I eventually grew to hate the tug-o-war and ended up siding with my dad and never setting foot in a church again.

Since then, my religious beliefs have become rather unruly. When my boyfriend finally got up the nerve to ask me to go to his church, I was mortified. I haven't been in a church, never bother what denomination, in many years.

Upon further thought, I have decided that I would very much like to get back into the "swing of things", and find a church that represents my beliefs.

Then.. the problem. I've been browsing all types of faith, not necessarily christian, even. But it seems that I cannot find a single religion, or denomination, that matches even remotely my beliefs.

My problems:
I find a church that is against abortion, but they don't accept homosexual people. Vice-versa.

I think my beliefs are predominately christian, but at the same time, I feel VERY restricted by the fact that one may be very conservative and not accept women as equal to men, or may be very closed minded as far as other religions.

When I look at religions outside Christianity, I find it extraordinarily difficult to imagine myself as part of that religion, especially as my entire family is christian, and my boyfriend and his family are christian.

Then I look to the churches that accept ALL religions, and I feel they are too broad, and serve as a landing ground to everybody who has nowhere else to go. I dont want to be part of a community that has no guidelines...

All this leaves me scratching my head.

The reason why I am here is this: this seems to be a fairly diverse forum, and with people of the christian belief. I was hoping to maybe get a point in the right direction?

If it helps...
I do not believe in abortion other than to save the mothers life; ie dire circumstances.
I believe wholeheartedly in homosexual rights, and could never be part of a community who did not accept/support that.
I believe there is one god, whether there are three parts, well, that I haven't really thought about.
I do not believe that Christ was God himself in human form. I do not believe that worshipping Christ as anything more than a messenger is correct. I do believe that he died on the cross to forgive our sins... however as a symbol from God, not as God himself, if that makes sense.
I do not believe in the Creation theory, but rather that god is directing everything that has happened; ie a hybrid theory between evolution with a little creation thrown in there.
I do not believe that those who do not accept the christian religion fully will be sent to hell.
I believe that heaven exists, and if you lead a moral life, you will end up there regardless of religion- there is plenty of time to learn what is true once you're in heaven.
Women are equal to men.
The bible is not to be taken word for word, as it is written by men.

Those are the most important ones... I think.

So am I searching for something that doesn't exist?

Much thanks for any input at ALL.

Of course, being a new person, if this post is wrongly placed, or breaks any type of rules, I do apologize- this forum is quite overwhelming at first

[Bekki659]

Thanks for your answers, Bekki.

Welcome to the forum.

Do you grill all of the new members like this?

[Zzyzx]

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Do you grill all of the new members like this?

Heck no -- we like you -- because you give real and honest answers.

[Bekki659]

Rofl, ok that's good. I wasn't quite expecting this much of a reception!

Did I mention that I feel WAY overpowered here? All you guys are much much older than me... way much more life experience. 18 years just doesn't give you that much to go on!

edit: cannot spell to save my life

[Homicidal_Cherry53]

Yeah, try being 16 and going up against some of these guys. I can't help but feel that I'm waaaaaay out of my league around here. XD

[Bekki659]

Good to know Im not alone!

But at the same time, there is a lot to be said and learned from such a diverse forum. Both in a religious sense and a wisdom sense... I hope anyway :]

[McCulloch]

Did I mention that I feel WAY overpowered here? All you guys are much much older than me... way much more life experience. 18 years just doesn't give you that much to go on!

Hey, I must be getting dumber! I wish I knew now as much as I thought I knew when I was 18.

[Bekki659]

Did I mention that I feel WAY overpowered here? All you guys are much much older than me... way much more life experience. 18 years just doesn't give you that much to go on!

Hey, I must be getting dumber! I wish I knew now as much as I thought I knew when I was 18.

The same will happen to me too, I suppose. Sometimes I feel like I kinda have things figured out, but then I come back to reality and realize I know nothing.

[Zzyzx]

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You young people are inspirational. It takes a lot of guts to put your ideas on the line to debate "old people" who have been through these "wars" many times.

There are ways to debate and discuss ideas without feeling threatened. A key may be to emphasize asking questions rather than making statements (even statements that have always been accepted before).

In conversation in general a person who asks good and sincere questions is typically viewed as a smart person – and is a person who benefits from communication. I learned that when I was your age and it has served me well for the fifty years since then.

In debate, asking questions is a very effective means of learning about opposition positions and of exposing weaknesses in opposition arguments. Also, we are not expected to defend a question as we would be expected to defend a statement or claim.

For instance, rather than stating "I regard the resurrection to be mythical" a person can ask, "Can anyone demonstrate that dead bodies actually came back to life as depicted in bible stories?" In asking that question I realize that there is only very weak "evidence" to support bible stories of claims that many dead bodies came back to life (far more such claims than most Apologists realize). Some may attempt to argue that dead bodies DO come back to life – but they are on the defensive from the onset and they have little or no evidence to support their position.

It is important to keep in mind that in life we are not required to prove to others that our ideas or beliefs are "correct" – though we may attempt to do so if we choose. It is very, very important to understand that "winning" a debate is meaningless. However, we are far ahead of the game if we learn early in life to express ideas clearly and to learn from others.

This forum in particular is a difficult place to defend supernaturalism because no favoritism is shown to any point of view – and claims are expected to be substantiated. Quoting scripture and dogma simply won't work here in opposition to many very strong non-theistic / non-supernatural debaters.

Welcome to the forum. I hope that you make yourself a comfortable place here.

[Goat]

Rofl, ok that's good. I wasn't quite expecting this much of a reception!

Did I mention that I feel WAY overpowered here? All you guys are much much older than me... way much more life experience. 18 years just doesn't give you that much to go on!

edit: cannot spell to save my life

There are some members that are 16 and 17.. and they do just fine. Don't worry about it. Look at this as a way a crucible for your OWN opinions, and to gather knowledge to be able to make an informed choice.

I think the most important thing that people can learn from a forum like this is how to question. The conclusions are not as important as the learning the process to come to the conclusions.

[Zzyzx]

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I think the most important thing that people can learn from a forum like this is how to question. The conclusions are not as important as the learning the process to come to the conclusions.

VERY well said Goat. That sums up the entire process of education (as differentiated from schooling).