My best friends believe that I am going to Hell

[The Humanist Manifesto]

I have grown up with a few close friends. We get along in every aspect of life, except religion. I am an active atheist and my friends are Catholics and Protestants. I've tried getting my convincing and logical arguments through to them but they have long ago closed their eyes of reason so that they can see faith.

We belligerently argued about the topic. I decided that it would be best to not talk about that subject around them because I value our friendship greatly. As an active atheist, I felt disappointed in myself that I wasn't able to communicate persuasively enough to get through to them.

We have great fun outside of the topic but I know in the back of their mind they quite literally believe that I am going to burn in a fiery hell for all eternity.

Honestly, that is very discomforting. How am I supposed to react to that?

They may treat me as an equal but my friends actually believe that they are above me

[twobitsmedia]

I have grown up with a few close friends. We get along in every aspect of life, except religion. I am an active atheist and my friends are Catholics and Protestants. I've tried getting my convincing and logical arguments through to them but they have long ago closed their eyes of reason so that they can see faith.

We belligerently argued about the topic. I decided that it would be best to not talk about that subject around them because I value our friendship greatly. As an active atheist, I felt disappointed in myself that I wasn't able to communicate persuasively enough to get through to them.

We have great fun outside of the topic but I know in the back of their mind they quite literally believe that I am going to burn in a fiery hell for all eternity.

Honestly, that is very discomforting. How am I supposed to react to that?

They may treat me as an equal but my friends actually believe that they are above me

If you are bothered, get new friends. The way you describe your attitude suggests you have just as much of a dogma as they do. Your last sentence says that you think they might feel they are above you, but your first paragraph suggests you think they are not reasonable thinkers and you have tried to "reach them." Kind of makes it sounds like you think yourself more superior to them also.

[Cathar1950]

I have grown up with a few close friends. We get along in every aspect of life, except religion. I am an active atheist and my friends are Catholics and Protestants. I've tried getting my convincing and logical arguments through to them but they have long ago closed their eyes of reason so that they can see faith.

We belligerently argued about the topic. I decided that it would be best to not talk about that subject around them because I value our friendship greatly. As an active atheist, I felt disappointed in myself that I wasn't able to communicate persuasively enough to get through to them.

We have great fun outside of the topic but I know in the back of their mind they quite literally believe that I am going to burn in a fiery hell for all eternity.

Honestly, that is very discomforting. How am I supposed to react to that?

They may treat me as an equal but my friends actually believe that they are above me

If you are bothered, get new friends. The way you describe your attitude suggests you have just as much of a dogma as they do. Your last sentence says that you think they might feel they are above you, but your first paragraph suggests you think they are not reasonable thinkers and you have tried to "reach them." Kind of makes it sounds like you think yourself more superior to them also.

Maybe his thinking is just superior.
This reminds me of a Jerry Seinfield episode where Ellane's boyfriend says she is going to hell.

[Ncik666]

oftentimes its hard not to feel superior. Atheists in my experiance all believe that the best way to solve anything is logic and careful thought with some evidence and support as backup. My personal opinion on this would be, well... excuse my language; screw them. As an atheist I doubt you believe in Hell anyway. I really think you should remain friends, but don't let it bother you. Peoples opinions should, and in you case seem to remain, in their heads. So theres no reason for you to be angry at them, or feel that you are superior.

[sledheavy]

Do they go to church on a regular basis?

[The Humanist Manifesto]

Honestly, I do have an edge on them when it comes to critical thinking and free thought. They are much like sheep.

[Confused]

I have grown up with a few close friends. We get along in every aspect of life, except religion. I am an active atheist and my friends are Catholics and Protestants. I've tried getting my convincing and logical arguments through to them but they have long ago closed their eyes of reason so that they can see faith.

We belligerently argued about the topic. I decided that it would be best to not talk about that subject around them because I value our friendship greatly. As an active atheist, I felt disappointed in myself that I wasn't able to communicate persuasively enough to get through to them.

We have great fun outside of the topic but I know in the back of their mind they quite literally believe that I am going to burn in a fiery hell for all eternity.

Honestly, that is very discomforting. How am I supposed to react to that?

They may treat me as an equal but my friends actually believe that they are above me

Ouch, tough spot. I have a friend who is Catholic. She sends her kids to Catholic school, the whole package. We don't agree on many issues with God. But she respects my choice. That is true friendship. Nonjudgemental. She has asked several times about why I think X or Y and I have told her if she really wants answers I could point to some good books to start with. But if she truly is comfortable with her faith, leave it alone. There is no reason for her to uproot her entire foundation if she isn't 100% sure she is ready for some of the enigmas she will create by delving into her beliefs.

I don't know you or your friends. But any friendship is built on respect. If they are trying to convert you based on fear tactics or superiority complexes, then perhaps it is time for you to re-evaluate what your concept of friendship should be and revise your friends list accordingly.

[bernee51]

I have grown up with a few close friends. We get along in every aspect of life, except religion. I am an active atheist and my friends are Catholics and Protestants. I've tried getting my convincing and logical arguments through to them but they have long ago closed their eyes of reason so that they can see faith.

We belligerently argued about the topic. I decided that it would be best to not talk about that subject around them because I value our friendship greatly. As an active atheist, I felt disappointed in myself that I wasn't able to communicate persuasively enough to get through to them.

We have great fun outside of the topic but I know in the back of their mind they quite literally believe that I am going to burn in a fiery hell for all eternity.

Honestly, that is very discomforting. How am I supposed to react to that?
They may treat me as an equal but my friends actually believe that they are above me

Dealing with your last line first...

how do you know they believe they are above you? have they told you? Or is a 'feeling' you have? A wise man once told be that the thing we most often want to change in others is that very thing we despise in ourselves.

What were you trying to communicate to them in you attempt to 'get through to them'?

You say you are an 'active atheist' and as such may be very comfortable with your non-belief. If you are anything like me (my atheism is unquestioned and unquestionable) I suspect doubt as to your position would be non existent. This sort of certitude is often very distressing to believers because in introduces to them the one thing that is anathema to faith - the possibility that they may be wrong i.e. doubt. Defensive behaviour often results.

I guess the only option, if you want to maintain their friendship, is to agree to disagee on matters of faith. OTOH if they were to raise the topic, I would find it difficult to desist.

[twobitsmedia]

Honestly, I do have an edge on them when it comes to critical thinking and free thought. They are much like sheep.

Then, clearly, you think yourself superior. If I were them, I would get away from you. I would rather be respected as a friend (regardless of beliefs) than just tolerated. I have many friends and acquantances who are not Christian, but none of us are on any superiority kick.

[The Humanist Manifesto]

yes, they did tell me they feel sorry for me. Once they actually accused me of speaking the words of a demon



how ridiculous is that?