I have all the answers

[DrProctopus]

The sky gnomes visited me in their stone sky chariot, and have imparted their wisdom upon me.

I have all the answers to your metaphysical questions. So, go ahead and ask, and I shall impart the wisdom of the sky gnomes to you lowly humans.

DrProctopus
(The doctor who gives a whole new meaning to the phrase "The doctor is in")

[Scrotum]

Gosh, wow, not everyday you get a chance like this you know. Wonder why no one asked you anything yet.. Perhaps the Truth(tm) scares them.

In any case, Dr, i would like to know, does "Life", really have a meaning? What dpes the sky gnomes say?


Thanx

[QED]

I would like to know why it is that whenever you tidy something away you need it again five-minutes later. I think my surroundings are in danger of becoming untidy because of this developing phobia.

[Cathar1950]

I found an empty mitten in the parking lot. I want to know what happened to the kid and the other mitten. I am going to the cafe and drink the 2nd and 4th cup of coffee because those are free.

[Bugmaster]

How does one properly pronounce "svirfneblin" ? Your visitors are gnomes, so I figure they'd know.

[DrProctopus]

In any case, Dr, i would like to know, does "Life", really have a meaning? What dpes the sky gnomes say?

We are all pets. A bit like ants in an ant farm. The sky gnomes find us amusing. They do care about us, but it is sort of like the way you might care about your cats.

So, yes, life has meaning. The concept of a meaning of life is somewhat meaningless. Perhaps we should say that life has purpose.

Your purpose is to live your life to the best of your ability. The sky gnomes' purpose in creating you is multifaceted. Eventually, you will grow into a powerful being worthy of creating complex systems that they find entertaining. Until then, they will content themselves with observing your daily drama.

So, you are a pet.

Roll over.

Say woof.

[DrProctopus]

I would like to know why it is that whenever you tidy something away you need it again five-minutes later.

This is because when you tidy something away you become more aware of its existence. Thus, when opportunity to use this thing becomes available, you realize you could use it.

Another way of saying it... When you tidy something away, you create a stronger and more recent association in your mind with the use of that thing for whatever it is used for. Thus, when an opportunity for using it arises, that association is more likely to be triggered.

Additionally, you are suffering from selective recall (as are all of us). You are more likely to remember the times when you tidied something away and then needed it, than you are the times when you tidied something away and did not need it.

Furthermore, you could ask, why is my brain wired to create association in such a haphazard way. This is because your brain is the product of evolution, not design. While alive, the consciousness of your greater self is mapped to your brain, and thus mostly constrained to functioning in the haphazard way that your brain functions.

But, this is on purpose. Such a chaotic system produces a multitude of unpredictable and interesting results. The sky gnomes like it that way.

[DrProctopus]

I found an empty mitten in the parking lot. I want to know what happened to the kid and the other mitten. I am going to the cafe and drink the 2nd and 4th cup of coffee because those are free.

The kid's name was Joshua. He just dropped his mitten, no big deal. However, lacking that mitten, he was more apt to have his had free, and thus to pick his nose. While being driven home from that location he was picking nose, which his mother thought was quite disgusting. She looked over at him to tell him to stop. Because she was not watching the road, she ran over a cat!

The cat (a stray) had kittens she had been looking after. Later that day, a guy named Steve came upon these orphaned kitten, who were very hungry and mewling quite pathetically because their mommy had not come back to feed them. Had they not mewling, he would not have noticed them. Steve took them in and cared for them. The act of caring for them so moved Steve and changed his personality that he decided not to follow through with his plans to blow up a government building in protest over the war in Iraq.

Had he blown up the building, he would have killed several dozens of people, including 14 children. The anger over this incident (which would have been blamed on Al Qaida, not Steve) would have hardened U.S. sentiment against Al Qaida enough to prompt more aggressive military action. Through a long and complicated chain of cause and effect, this would have led to World War 3, with the loss of 1,274,512,871 lives.

Fortunately, this horrible outcome has been averted, because Joshua dropped his mitten.

I can tell you, because they told me, the sky gnomes inspired Joshua to drop his mitten, because they do not wish the Earth to be partially destroyed - at least not yet.

They do indeed work in mysterious ways.

[DrProctopus]

How does one properly pronounce "svirfneblin" ? Your visitors are gnomes, so I figure they'd know.

The exact pronunciation depends up dialect.

Personally, I pronounce it "Sverf-neb-lin"

However, it would also be correct to pronounce it: "Sveer-F'neb-lin"

A third correct pronunciation comes from the moon dwarves, although it is somewhat obscure. In this pronunciation, all the letters are silent, and it is pronounced: "Butt-Juice"

When in polite company, I advise using pronunciations 1 or 2.

[McCulloch]

Why did the sky gnomes talk to you and not me? I feel left out.