Daily laugh

[FinalEnigma]

Everybody likes to laugh, so I thought I'd amuse myself by starting a thread with the purpose of just posting whatever funny things you come across to brighten others' days just a little bit. So feel free to post away. it can be jokes, pictures, funny stories, anything that makes you laugh.

[FinalEnigma]

Here's a look at how shrewd American business people translate their
slogans into foreign languages:

When Braniff translated a slogan touting its upholstery, "Fly in
leather," it came out in Spanish as "Fly naked."

Coors put its slogan, "Turn it loose," into Spanish, where is was read
as "Suffer from diarrhea."

Chicken magnate Frank Perdue's line, "It takes a tough man to make a
tender chicken," sounds much more interesting in Spanish: "It takes a
sexually stimulated man to make a chicken affectionate."

When Vicks first introduced its cough drops on the German market, they
were chagrined to learn that the German pronunciation of "v" is f -
which in German is the guttural equivalent of "sexual penetration."

Not to be outdone, Puffs tissues tried later to introduce its product,
only to learn that "Puff" in German is a colloquial term for a
whorehouse. The English weren't too fond of the name either, as it's
a highly derogatory term for a non-heterosexual.

The Chevy Nova never sold well in Spanish speaking countries. "No va"
means "it doesn't go" in Spanish.

When Pepsi started marketing its products in China a few years back,
they translated their slogan, "Pepsi Brings You Back to Life" pretty
literally. The slogan in Chinese really meant, "Pepsi Brings Your
Ancestors Back form the Grave."

When Coca-Cola first shipped to China, they named the product
something that when pronounced sounded like "Coca-Cola." The only
problem was that the characters used meant "Bite the wax tadpole."
They later changed to a set of characters that mean "Happiness in the
mouth."

A hair products company, Clairol, introduced the "Mist Stick", a
curling iron, into Germany only to find out that mist is slang for
manure. Not too many people had use for the manure stick.

When Gerber first started selling baby food in Africa, they used the
same packaging as here in the U.S.A. - with the cute baby on the
label. Later they found out that in Africa companies routinely put
pictures on the label of what's inside since most people can't read.

[OnceConvinced]

Everybody likes to laugh

I disagree with this statement. I personally hate to laugh.

[JoeyKnothead]

Chicken magnate Frank Perdue's line, "It takes a tough man to make a
tender chicken," sounds much more interesting in Spanish: "It takes a
sexually stimulated man to make a chicken affectionate."

A 'fectionate chicken can be stimulating as well

[cnorman18]

What's the difference between a beer and a booger?

You put a beer on TOP of the bar....

[McCulloch]

What's the difference between a beer and a booger?

If you have to ask, I'm not asking you to get me a beer!

[JoeyKnothead]

What's the difference between a beer and a booger?

You put a beer on TOP of the bar....

You drink one, and eat the other

[cnorman18]

Speaking of disgusting things....

Everyone knows what the mixed drink called a "Screwdriver" is made of: vodka and orange juice

Do you know what's in a "Phillips screwdriver"?






Wait for it -






Vodka and milk of magnesia.

[FinalEnigma]

When two service station attendants in Ionia, Michigan, refused to hand over the cash to an intoxicated robber, the man threatened to call the police. They still wouldn't give him the money, so the robber called the police -- and was arrested.

[cnorman18]

When two service station attendants in Ionia, Michigan, refused to hand over the cash to an intoxicated robber, the man threatened to call the police. They still wouldn't give him the money, so the robber called the police -- and was arrested.

True story:

Two guys are sitting in a car at a stoplight. A man comes up and asks, "You guys want to buy some cocaine?"

They look at each other, shrug, and say, "Sure. Get in the back and we'll go get the money."

The guy jumps in, and they take him down to the station and throw him in the slam. They were cops.

That doesn't sound so dumb - except that these were not undercover cops. They were uniformed patrolmen in a black & white.

How smart do you have to be, etc.?

"The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has limits."
--Albert Einstein