Daily laugh

[FinalEnigma]

Everybody likes to laugh, so I thought I'd amuse myself by starting a thread with the purpose of just posting whatever funny things you come across to brighten others' days just a little bit. So feel free to post away. it can be jokes, pictures, funny stories, anything that makes you laugh.

[Clownboat]

Most of us have probably heard about the death of Prince.

Well, more tragic news from the music industry...
Kanye West was found alive and well at his home.

[arian]

Here, this makes me laugh every time it comes up:

Definition:

Large scale Biological Evolution - science: the descent of different species from a common ancestor over many generations

Oh come on, .. it's funny as heck, .. lol.

[arian]

Here is another;

George Lemaitre to the Pope: "Big Bang!"

Pope: "Huh, what? What do you mean?"

Lemaitre: "the universe, .. in nothing!"

Pope: "Ha, ha, ha, now that's funny, .. yeah, let's go with that."

[arian]

Redneck Joke

Redneck: Help! My buddy fell out of the deer stand I think; I think he might be dead.

911: Sir, please calm down; can you make sure he's not alive?

Redneck: Yea, just a sec. *gunshot* Ok, he's dead, now what?

-----------------

Why are redneck murder cases the hardest to solve?
Because all the DNA matches and there are no dental records.

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Redneck Joke
My girlfriend and I broke up... she said we could still be cousins though.

[arian]

.

It's an interesting song but it isn't true. Atheists do have hymns. Here is one of them:

What makes that an “Atheist hymn�?

Notice that the originator of the lyrics self-identifies as a Heretic (which is defined as “someone who believes or teaches something that goes against accepted or official beliefs�). That is NOT synonymous with Atheist. One can be labeled a Heretic when they simply switch beliefs from one religion to another (particularly if that is away from Catholicism).

Notice also that “hymn� is defined as: “A type of song, usually religious, specifically written for the purpose of adoration or prayer, and typically addressed to a deity or deities, or to a prominent figure or personification. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hymn

[/quote]

Oh come on, that wasn't funny Z, what if you made puddleglum cry? I liked the song.

[JoeyKnothead]

I've spent the last two years looking for my ex-girlfriend's killer.

Nobody'll do it.

She owned a parakeet. It never shut up. Cool bird though.

She's got a new boyfriend now. He's abusive. Makes me wanna go over there with a baseball bat.

And blame her boyfriend.

- Anthony Jeselnik

[Willum]

Theoretical question, maybe one for lawyers, and I am not advocating violent change in personnel or government of any kind:

Regarding Top Secret information, information on which thousands of lives depend - and If Hillary were elected and a Secret Serviceman shot her dead, would he have committed a crime?

Arguments both ways...

[JoeyKnothead]

Georgia lottery winner pleads guilty to building meth enterprise with $3M winnings.

These are my people

[Zzyzx]

.

These are my people

Joey,

If you win the lottery divide three million dollars by the number of years you are likely to live -- and don't spend more than that per year. Say thirty more years -- spend only $100,000 annually (and that doesn't factor in interest).

Could you get along on that without increasing income (legally or illegally)?

[Neatras]

[Replying to post 545 by Zzyzx]

I'd argue that the interest alone I could make off of a good investment of $3m would keep me financially stable.