America's Number 1!!!

[C-Nub]

I'm a Canadian, and I happen to live in a town where a large percentage of our economy is based on tourism, and a large percentage of our tourists are Americans, most of whom are on there way to Alaska. I also deal a great deal with Russians, Germans, Austrians, the Japanese, the Chinese, and as of late, somewhat surprising considering my rather arctic local, people from Mexico.

No citizens of any country compare to the Americans when it comes to sheer boastfulness, (or patriotism if you accept their definition for it.)

When they aren't insisting that their constitution somehow grants them the right to bring fully automatic military grade assault weapons into our country, they can generally be heard insisting that theirs is the best nation on Earth.

Ignoring the fact that going into another country only to state that yours' is better is almost inexcusably rude, having heard it today for what has to be the millionth time (slight exaggeration warning) I've really got to ask... Those of you who think your country is the best, of all the countries out there, uh... why?

Before you answer, though, I thought I'd gather up some things called 'facts'. In this case, they are statistical facts. I gathered them from the BBC, Wikipedia (I know, not the best source,) The New York Times (a little better,) and The World Almanac, which I think is pretty credible.

The Wealthiest country in the world: Luxembourg.
The United States of America: Sixth.

The Most Generous Country in the world (Charitable Donations in American Dollars per Capita): Luxembourg (appropriate)
The United States of America: 18th. Luxembourgians give twenty-two times more money per person to charity.

Highest Income Per Person: Norway.
United States of America: Third. That's actually not too bad, really, but it isn't #1.

Obesity: America's Number 1 here!
Sorry, I just had to throw that one out. It's not one you want to win, for the record.

Longest Lifespan: Anelorra... I've never heard of it. Might have spelled it wrong.
United States of America: Yeah, didn't even make the top 20, where the list cut off. Laaaame. Canada was on there!

Most Recycling: The Swiss! (These guys are actually #1 in a lot of things)
United States of America: Seventh.

Health Care: France is number 1
The United States of America: Nineteenth. Basically not a country you want to get sick/hurt/pregnant in.

Employment Rate: Iceland is number one here.
The United States of America: Tenth. At least your a top ten country here.

Literacy Rate: Georgia is the most literate country in the world.
The United States: Forty Ninth. Yeah. That's right. This one is from the New York Times. Just for the record, that's really, really, really bad.

Here's a few more, without the comparison, which stopped being necessary after Literacy.

The United States is

28th in Math literacy
37th in general health
22nd in Child Poverty (No Child Left Behind!)
41st in Infant Mortality. That one, right there, should disqualify you from even saying you're a "Good" country, let alone the best. That one is just disgusting.
24th in Murder. Before you pat yourselves on the back for not being number one here, that's out 156, and the countries beating you are ones like Zambia and Iraq. The only developed country further ahead of you on the murder list is Mexico, and honestly, no offense to Mexico, it's not that developed now, is it?

65% of the eligible voters in your country did not vote in the 2004 Presidential elections.

Your nation continues to reject the metric system in favor of an incredibly arbitrary system that has decided, for no reason, that five thousand, two hundred and eighty feet is a mile. Why five thousand, two hundred and eighty? Do you know how many meters are in a kilometer? A thousand. Wow that's complicated.



I know this comes off as hostile, and I don't want it to. Many of my very best friends and overall favorite people are Americans, but at the same time, these are your country men that preach a false gospel of greatness, and you guys have to be a little responsible for them and the amount of ill will they generate internationally towards your nation as a whole. Can any of you justify your belief that you're even in the top ten, let alone the number one nation on earth? Are you God's favorite, despite the bible making pretty clear you're not? (The Holy Land, anyone???)

You've given the world the Airplane, the Lightbulb, Electricity (technically Nikolai Tesla, not so much an American, created the current electric systems) and the automobile (though you don't make any good ones now) but you've also given us reality TV, Britney Spears and every other singer like her, and a bunch of words that no longer have U's in them for no good damn reason at all. (Usually followed by some sort of assertion that it is you, and not us, who speak 'proper English,' despite the fact that the language is named for the country of its origin, England.)

Help me out here.

[Fallibleone]

I know, I know. It fits the definition of both 'invasion' and 'revolution'. So even if one claims 'invasion', 'revolution' can still be argued.

I completely agree with that. I couldn't resist prodding a bit into British "we have never been invaded in 1000 years" pride, so I admit I have been a bit selective in the evidence. It was both an invasion and a revolution.
It wasn't just religion, though: the rejection of James's absolutist ideas were at least as important.

Btw, I thought that the Scots were mostly Protestants? Or is this since after the 17th century?

*cough* Ok but there were lots of Catholics. Or did I dream it? Probably.

I didn't know that you studied history!

Yup. And English Lit. Very useful in today's job market (not).