Having troubles?

[methylatedghosts]

Hello to everyone. I thought I'd start up a thread basically so everyone can post here about any troubles or issues they may be having, be this in relationships, study, daily dramas feeling a bit depressed, or just life in general. ANYTHING. Even if you may just like to vent, and have nowhere else to go.

Here we can help each other from many different perspectives on lifes problems. I think that getting different perspectives on the same issue will help you make the choice that you feel right with, and others can let you know of things you may not have thought about. We all have something to offer, so even if you don't feel what you advise is as good as it can be, it may let others think more about it.

Let your troubles flow.........................................

[AB]

But we were talking about people and personal relationships. Love here can dwindle and die. Therefore, you lose the "choosing to stay" along with the feeling good and enjoying the company.

When God is not the foundation of the relationship, yes this is a reality.

[methylatedghosts]

But we were talking about people and personal relationships. Love here can dwindle and die. Therefore, you lose the "choosing to stay" along with the feeling good and enjoying the company.

When God is not the foundation of the relationship, yes this is a reality.

Ok, I see what you're saying then. Thats where we mixed up.

But, how is God the foundation of a relationship?

[Confused]

But we were talking about people and personal relationships. Love here can dwindle and die. Therefore, you lose the "choosing to stay" along with the feeling good and enjoying the company.

When God is not the foundation of the relationship, yes this is a reality.

You all have all mixed this up. My dilemma isn't with love for God. My dilemma is love at all. How can love just dwindle away if it truly exists?

[AB]

But we were talking about people and personal relationships. Love here can dwindle and die. Therefore, you lose the "choosing to stay" along with the feeling good and enjoying the company.

When God is not the foundation of the relationship, yes this is a reality.

Ok, I see what you're saying then. Thats where we mixed up.

But, how is God the foundation of a relationship?

For the Man and Woman the first priority is God.

[AB]

But we were talking about people and personal relationships. Love here can dwindle and die. Therefore, you lose the "choosing to stay" along with the feeling good and enjoying the company.

When God is not the foundation of the relationship, yes this is a reality.

You all have all mixed this up. My dilemma isn't with love for God. My dilemma is love at all. How can love just dwindle away if it truly exists?

Love that is not God will dwindle away. You shouldn't be surprised about that.

[methylatedghosts]

You all have all mixed this up. My dilemma isn't with love for God. My dilemma is love at all. How can love just dwindle away if it truly exists?

Right, back on track then.

As I said in an earlier posts, there are different kinds of love. The "falling in love" is the one that dwindles and you "fall out of love". Thats the kind of love that you get "love at first sight". Thats a fairy tale love, and never lasts. It is the butterflies in the stomach, rose tinted glasses love.

Then you have love for what you do. Love for your job, love for your hobby. That isn't really love. Love is just a label for a "strong like" in these situations.

Then you have true love. Not true love, as in "My true love will one day come", but the love one has for family. It is the love for your children. The love for your parents. This is unconditional love.

A marriage may happen because of falling in love. Then, after a while, both parties eventually fall out of love, and tension builds and they divorce. Now, that is not to say that all marriages start this way, or that the ones that do, finish in divorce. When you fall out of love with someone, then you can develop the unconditional love for the person they are (...what happened to the grammar in that sentence??......).

Some marriages that started by falling in love, end up with unconditional love. It isn't easy, and does require work, at least in the beginning. It requires alot of communication, and knowing where each other stands. It requires an openness and a letting go of each other. After the work part, it becomes second nature to you, and it becomes very easy. Some people though, can't deal with it, because they are still looking for the rose tinted glasses that they left behind. If all you want is butterflies in your stomach, then you will always be looking.

Theres my take on it.

[Confused]

You all have all mixed this up. My dilemma isn't with love for God. My dilemma is love at all. How can love just dwindle away if it truly exists?

Right, back on track then.

As I said in an earlier posts, there are different kinds of love. The "falling in love" is the one that dwindles and you "fall out of love". Thats the kind of love that you get "love at first sight". Thats a fairy tale love, and never lasts. It is the butterflies in the stomach, rose tinted glasses love.

Then you have love for what you do. Love for your job, love for your hobby. That isn't really love. Love is just a label for a "strong like" in these situations.

Then you have true love. Not true love, as in "My true love will one day come", but the love one has for family. It is the love for your children. The love for your parents. This is unconditional love.

A marriage may happen because of falling in love. Then, after a while, both parties eventually fall out of love, and tension builds and they divorce. Now, that is not to say that all marriages start this way, or that the ones that do, finish in divorce. When you fall out of love with someone, then you can develop the unconditional love for the person they are (...what happened to the grammar in that sentence??......).

Some marriages that started by falling in love, end up with unconditional love. It isn't easy, and does require work, at least in the beginning. It requires alot of communication, and knowing where each other stands. It requires an openness and a letting go of each other. After the work part, it becomes second nature to you, and it becomes very easy. Some people though, can't deal with it, because they are still looking for the rose tinted glasses that they left behind. If all you want is butterflies in your stomach, then you will always be looking.

Theres my take on it.

Do you think it is possible for a person, intelligent and sane, to lack the ability to have the last description you have given for love?

[methylatedghosts]

You all have all mixed this up. My dilemma isn't with love for God. My dilemma is love at all. How can love just dwindle away if it truly exists?

Right, back on track then.

As I said in an earlier posts, there are different kinds of love. The "falling in love" is the one that dwindles and you "fall out of love". Thats the kind of love that you get "love at first sight". Thats a fairy tale love, and never lasts. It is the butterflies in the stomach, rose tinted glasses love.

Then you have love for what you do. Love for your job, love for your hobby. That isn't really love. Love is just a label for a "strong like" in these situations.

Then you have true love. Not true love, as in "My true love will one day come", but the love one has for family. It is the love for your children. The love for your parents. This is unconditional love.

A marriage may happen because of falling in love. Then, after a while, both parties eventually fall out of love, and tension builds and they divorce. Now, that is not to say that all marriages start this way, or that the ones that do, finish in divorce. When you fall out of love with someone, then you can develop the unconditional love for the person they are (...what happened to the grammar in that sentence??......).

Some marriages that started by falling in love, end up with unconditional love. It isn't easy, and does require work, at least in the beginning. It requires alot of communication, and knowing where each other stands. It requires an openness and a letting go of each other. After the work part, it becomes second nature to you, and it becomes very easy. Some people though, can't deal with it, because they are still looking for the rose tinted glasses that they left behind. If all you want is butterflies in your stomach, then you will always be looking.

Theres my take on it.

Do you think it is possible for a person, intelligent and sane, to lack the ability to have the last description you have given for love?

I think everyone has the ability to have or know unconditional love (some exceptions such as for those with mental disabilities). But, some people do not know how. Some people do not want to lie exposed through being open, and vulnerable.

There are two base emotions. Love and fear.

Fear contracts, closes down, draws in, runs, hides, hoards, harms. Love expands, opens up, sends out, stays, reveals, shares, heals
Fear wraps out bodies in clothing. Love allows us to stand naked
Fear clings to, and clutches all that we have. Love gives it all away.
Fear holds close. Love holds dear.
Fear grasps. Love lets go.
Fear rankles. Loves soothes.
Fear attacks. Love amends.

Some people live in fear. Others live in love. Those who live in fear, are too afraid of lying exposed, to live in love, but they want love. Those who live in love have no need of fear.

If you are one who lives in fear, learn to let it all go. Cast everything aside. Theoretically simple, but very difficult to do, because fear has taught you that letting go is bad. Most people have been taught throughout most of their lives to live in fear. And this is very difficult to overcome.

Feel the fear and do it anyway

[topaz]

Love. Interesting subject.

AB, I just want to say that I u/stand what you’re saying. I also u/stand that it is difficult for a non-believer to see your point.

According to scripture, unbelievers must marry unbelievers. Christians must marry christians. This seems to be a little known law in the christian community. Religion forms the foundation of our thought process. God’s children vs the heathens. If you look at the empirical history of israel, the intermarriage with heathens caused them their life … physical and spiritual. Total chaos. A formula made in hell. Lol.

In a christian marriage, both man and woman u/stand what is required of them … a lifelong union. Divorce is a last resort. If it happens, neither party is allowed to marry, with the exception of some conditions under which the divorce is legal in God’s eyes. In such a marriage, the rate of divorce is minimal since both minds & hearts flow together.

I will talk about christian love & marriage not the heathen.

Who says love is blind? A christian who sets out to find love will not look for it in a heathen knowing it would be a fragile relationship. No christian will last long in a marriage where the mentality of the heathen spouse is in opposition to the christian’s. This is clear. We are speaking of true not nominal christians.

I believe that true love as in Romeo and Juliet type, will not die. What about love that is outside of romeo + juliet type? Love today, get married … then fizzles off. What happens then. This is where religion becomes the basis of the marriage. After the love has died, you must like each other. You learn to value the blessing of having been given a partner, children are a blessing too. Your spouse + children are your life. You don’t want to walk away and start all anew time and again. When both parties hold to the same value system, the marriage will be lifelong. A value system that is focused on the family as a united whole is less likely to fall apart. You value your family so much b/c it is your life and you don’t want it to break.

A marriage that focus on love, love and more love … is not in touch with reality. So if you’re going to find a partner whose mentality is along this line, you’re just asking for trouble. I love you today, but tomorrow, too bad, I love someone else. I leave you and I go to the new love and then history repeats itself, start all over again. As we grow older, there are health and financial issues. What happens if you divorce, fall sick … then who wants you. So, the focus MUST be family-centred or the focus is wrong.

[methylatedghosts]

Who says love is blind? A christian who sets out to find love will not look for it in a heathen knowing it would be a fragile relationship. No christian will last long in a marriage where the mentality of the heathen spouse is in opposition to the christian’s. This is clear. We are speaking of true not nominal christians.

If a Christian doesn't last long in a marriage with someone who is not Christian, what does that say about them? This tells me you're saying they'd love them less. To me that is a silly concept, that there is a difference in how you can love another less because they are not of your religion. It does not matter what either person believes if they have an unconditional love for each other. Are you saying that it isn't possible for a Christian to have unconditional love for a non-christian, to the extent where a marriage wouldn't work? And, may I add, going against "love thy neighbour".....

I believe that true love as in Romeo and Juliet type, will not die. What about love that is outside of romeo + juliet type? Love today, get married … then fizzles off. What happens then. This is where religion becomes the basis of the marriage. After the love has died, you must like each other. You learn to value the blessing of having been given a partner, children are a blessing too.

So after a couple does not love each other, they have to like each other? What if they don't? What then? Force them to stay together? You say "been given a partner". Who gave you a partner?

A marriage that focus on love, love and more love … is not in touch with reality. So if you’re going to find a partner whose mentality is along this line, you’re just asking for trouble. I love you today, but tomorrow, too bad, I love someone else.

What about the unconditional love? Love for the family love for the children. Love for the parents. Love for the spouse. I'm not talking about rose tinted glasses love, but unconditional love.

s we grow older, there are health and financial issues. What happens if you divorce, fall sick … then who wants you. So, the focus MUST be family-centred or the focus is wrong.

Then who wants you? Those you love and love you. The more love you spread, the more you will feel. If you are to spend your whole life concentrating love onto 5 people in you family, that is not much. If you have love, give it away to as many as you can. You will find much more in return. Then give all of that away. You will receive more. Love knows no bounds - unless you give it boundaries.

And there is no thing as a wrong focus. Nor is there a thing as right focus. Focus is just focus. Right and wrong are only relative terms, and do not relate to God.