Having troubles?

[methylatedghosts]

Hello to everyone. I thought I'd start up a thread basically so everyone can post here about any troubles or issues they may be having, be this in relationships, study, daily dramas feeling a bit depressed, or just life in general. ANYTHING. Even if you may just like to vent, and have nowhere else to go.

Here we can help each other from many different perspectives on lifes problems. I think that getting different perspectives on the same issue will help you make the choice that you feel right with, and others can let you know of things you may not have thought about. We all have something to offer, so even if you don't feel what you advise is as good as it can be, it may let others think more about it.

Let your troubles flow.........................................

[AB]

Ok, I will bite.

Totally of subject of religion etc......Does the concept of love exist based on todays society. I mean, when someone says "I love you" to another person, the feeling is mutual, they get married etc..... Then 10 years from now, they "grew apart", "don't love each other any more" etc... See, this is a major problem in my life. I just don't believe love exists in the form of what society uses it for. I can say I love my children. I would do anything for them. I would give my life and the life of every other person on this planet for them. This to me is love. I have never experienced that emotion for anyone except blood family. My ex-husband is my best friend. We got married only to make our parents happy because we wanted children. There was no claim of love involved. After my last was born, we got a divorce, he bought the house right next to mine and it works great. I have seen many of my friends "fall in love". Some get married, some break up before marriage is an option. But I can say that I have only seen one of my friends who has gotten married, and stayed married over the past 17 years. All the rest, "fell out of love'. So how can anyone claim love exists as society defines it? I personally think it is nothing more than a temporary emotion that can be turned on and off at will. It doesn't mean any more to me than the word happy. Yet people claim that the "romeo and juliet" love exists and spend their entire life searching for it, failing to find it, or deluding themselves into thinking they found it only to discover they wasted 10 years of their lives on this delusion and start all over again. So if love exists, how can you tell it is real?

As it relates to married couples: Love is very important. But, more important is commitment. A marriage under God is first a commitment to God and then the spouse. As time goes by irritations of spouse occurs, but the bond of the marriage with God holds. Getting irritated in a marriage will happen. And that is why the overriding commitment to stay married under God holds it together. I think there is a huge correlation with the divorce rate in the U.S.A. and the turning away from God in the U.S.A.

[methylatedghosts]

As it relates to married couples: Love is very important. But, more important is commitment. A marriage under God is first a commitment to God and then the spouse. As time goes by irritations of spouse occurs, but the bond of the marriage with God holds. Getting irritated in a marriage will happen. And that is why the overriding commitment to stay married under God holds it together. I think there is a huge correlation with the divorce rate in the U.S.A. and the turning away from God in the U.S.A.

Ok, this makes me curious. You believe God is all-love right? You also say commitment is more important than love. Wouldn't it be better off for those involved to love, rather than "be commited"? And if that love dies, why keep up the pretence of loving, by being commited? Or if one stops loving the other, for the other to let him/her go with love.

[AB]

As it relates to married couples: Love is very important. But, more important is commitment. A marriage under God is first a commitment to God and then the spouse. As time goes by irritations of spouse occurs, but the bond of the marriage with God holds. Getting irritated in a marriage will happen. And that is why the overriding commitment to stay married under God holds it together. I think there is a huge correlation with the divorce rate in the U.S.A. and the turning away from God in the U.S.A.

Ok, this makes me curious. You believe God is all-love right? You also say commitment is more important than love. Wouldn't it be better off for those involved to love, rather than "be commited"? And if that love dies, why keep up the pretence of loving, by being commited? Or if one stops loving the other, for the other to let him/her go with love.

You have mixed up things a little. God's love is much different than what humans tend to define it. Part of God's love is choice(commitment). For example, although you may not "feel" like it, you will choose to love and stay commited.

Y

[methylatedghosts]

You have mixed up things a little. God's love is much different than what humans tend to define it. Part of God's love is choice(commitment). For example, although you may not "feel" like it, you will choose to love and stay commited.

Y

So you'd stay commited even if you didn't love the person?

[AB]

You have mixed up things a little. God's love is much different than what humans tend to define it. Part of God's love is choice(commitment). For example, although you may not "feel" like it, you will choose to love and stay commited.

Y

So you'd stay commited even if you didn't love the person?

Staying commited is loving the person. Yes. Remember, the context is God is the foundation of the relationship.

[methylatedghosts]

You have mixed up things a little. God's love is much different than what humans tend to define it. Part of God's love is choice(commitment). For example, although you may not "feel" like it, you will choose to love and stay commited.

Y

So you'd stay commited even if you didn't love the person?

Staying commited is loving the person. Yes. Remember, the context is God is the foundation of the relationship.

Not really. Commitment is different to love. Commitment is a "pledge" to continue with a certain thing. Granted, love of this thing, whatever it is, makes it easier to be commited, but you can have one without the other. For example, I can be commited to my job, but I might not love the job. Likewise, one could be commited to a husband/wife, but not love them

[AB]

You have mixed up things a little. God's love is much different than what humans tend to define it. Part of God's love is choice(commitment). For example, although you may not "feel" like it, you will choose to love and stay commited.

Y

So you'd stay commited even if you didn't love the person?

Staying commited is loving the person. Yes. Remember, the context is God is the foundation of the relationship.

Not really. Commitment is different to love. Commitment is a "pledge" to continue with a certain thing. Granted, love of this thing, whatever it is, makes it easier to be commited, but you can have one without the other. For example, I can be commited to my job, but I might not love the job. Likewise, one could be commited to a husband/wife, but not love them

Just because commitment applies to one aspect of life, doesnt mean it can't apply to an aspect of Love. Agape Love.

[methylatedghosts]

Not really. Commitment is different to love. Commitment is a "pledge" to continue with a certain thing. Granted, love of this thing, whatever it is, makes it easier to be commited, but you can have one without the other. For example, I can be commited to my job, but I might not love the job. Likewise, one could be commited to a husband/wife, but not love them

Just because commitment applies to one aspect of life, doesnt mean it can't apply to an aspect of Love. Agape Love.

Commitment still =/= love in relationships

[AB]

Not really. Commitment is different to love. Commitment is a "pledge" to continue with a certain thing. Granted, love of this thing, whatever it is, makes it easier to be commited, but you can have one without the other. For example, I can be commited to my job, but I might not love the job. Likewise, one could be commited to a husband/wife, but not love them

Just because commitment applies to one aspect of life, doesnt mean it can't apply to an aspect of Love. Agape Love.

Commitment still =/= love in relationships

Love that lasts = Feeling Good + Chosing to stay + Enjoying the company
During life. "Feeling Good" and "Enjoying the company" will vary. But, the "Choosing to Stay" is constant and holds it all together. Agape Love. God's love.

[methylatedghosts]

But we were talking about people and personal relationships. Love here can dwindle and die. Therefore, you lose the "choosing to stay" along with the feeling good and enjoying the company.