JehovahsWitness wrote:
agnosticatheist wrote:
So basically ttruscott and jwitness, because God says you shouldnt have sex before you are married, you are going to blind buy on one of the most important aspects of a marriage? You are going to go into it with almost no idea what you are getting into?
Blind Buying
To suggest that testing out each others genitals is the best way to ensure marital success is naive to an extreme. There are so many factors that contribute to a successful marriage, emotional intellectual compatility, being mature giving people, good forgivers with a common view of important issues such as childrearing, money management, health issues, religion etc etc.
On a logical basis, if the "test driving" each other sexually were the key to marital success we would logically have an increase in the stability of marriage since the sexual revolution of the 60's reaching a height in the 21st century when few people marry as virgins. The REALITY however is the divorce rate continues to rise. So the fact that people have had intercourse before marriage and decided they are sexually compatible has NOT lead to better marriages.
Male and female genitilia are compatible by design, if two people are caring, flexible and selfless and willing to apply bible principles when it comes to satisfying their partner, then their sex life will probably be satisfactory in the least and fulfilling at best. No couple has a perfect sex life no matter how much they test drive before.
In any case to believe that sex alone is the deciding factor between two people that know and love each other is both reducing the act to its lowest common denominator and exaggerating its import.
I never said it was the sole factor.
Sure, no one is going to have a perfect sex life. But, i personally would like for my sex life to be as good as possible.
So, again, when it comes to one of the most important aspects of a marriage, im supposed to blind buy?
Why is it ok, and even encouraged, to get to know the person you are going to marry, and find out as much as you can before gou decide to marry them, and yet for some reason, its not ok to find out about each other's bodies and each other's sexuality? If im going to blind buy on the sex aspect of my marriage, I might as well blind buy on everything else, right? Why not just go find a random person off the street and ask them to marry me? But see, few christians would approve of that. They go on and on about finding the right person and not settling. So then why do they stop at sexuality and go into the marriage with little knowledge of their partner's body and sexuality? Because God says so...
Again, there are legitimate biological issues to consider that i think you either didnt notice, failed to address, ignored, or tried to minimize. What if the female is allergic to the male's semen and no medical solution can be reached? What are you going to do then, einstein? I personally would break off the engagement if I had sex with my fiance and found out they were allergic to my semen and there was no medical solution.
You say people's genitals are compatible, and while that is generally true, there is genetic variation (and perhaps genetic mutations as well) that cause there to be a wide variety of genital configurations.
Some males have very thick penises and some females have very tight vaginas. A male with a very thick penis and a female with a very tight vagina getting married could lead to discomfort and definitely not optimal sexual intercourse. If you dont find this out before you get married, now you are both stuck with it for the rest of your lives unless you agree to go outside of the marriage or a get a divorce, neither of which is a good outcome to me personally.
I could go on and on here.
Theres the taste and smell of each other's bodies.
Theres willingness to try stuff and grow and learn.
You said: "if two people are caring, flexible and selfless and willing to apply bible principles when it comes to satisfying their partner, then their sex life will probably be satisfactory in the least and fulfilling at best."
Come on. Please tell me you are smarter than this. You are so determined to maintain your God belief and not grapple with the fact that either your God gives really bad advice, or your God does not exist and your God's supposed advice actually is human-inspired and written by humans. What if one or both partners are NOT caring, flexible and selfless and willing to apply bible principles when it comes to satisfying their partner? Are they supposed to just deal with it for thr rest of their lives? If they had found that out before the marriage, they could have simply gone seperate ways, or if they were engaged, broke the engagement off. You also have to take into account that there probably are people who know good and well they arent going to be satisfactory sexual partners, but they want to get married for companionship and/or the financial benefits. Not test driving before you get married is an advantage for such people and allows them to sneak into a marriage and get what they want without their lacking sexual value being detected.
Some people want sex 4 nights a week, some people want sex once a week. If you have someone who wants to have sex 4 times a week and someone who wants to have sex once a week get married, that isnt going to be an optimal situation. The one who wants 4 times a week is always going to be left wanting more, and the person who wants once a week is always going to feel pressured to do more than once a week. You might say: "well, thats part of growing and sacrificing and you are never going to have a perfect sex life anyways". Sorry, but bump that. I want to have an optimal sex life. If I cant find the right person, then just like its acceptable to do for any reason BUT sex, im not going to settle and I simply wont get married.