The Tooth Fairy and Santa For Children

[jgh7]

Millions of parents tell their young ones of the tooth fairy and Santa. They'll go so far as to sneak presents under the tree or money under the pillow to convince children that said make-believe character is real.

When the time comes, parents later tell their children (or the children find out on their own) that these characters are not real and just pretend. This is seen as a tradition and something to look back fondly on as a child.

But is it right to do such things? To trick children for years into believing in such things, only for them to possibly get their hearts broken when they find out it's all been a lie given by those whom they most trusted?

I'm undecided on the matter. I wasn't devastated when I found out the tooth fairy wasn't real even though I used to believe he/she was. And perhaps the whole experience was interesting and maybe useful in learning about faith. I did have great fun when I believed and saw the "miracles" so to speak. But I know my young cousin was very distressed when I accidentally told him Santa was fake.

I'm undecided on whether it's right or wrong to bring up kids believing in the tooth fairy / Santa. What are your thoughts?

[OnceConvinced]

I don't see a problem. Why would anyone be heartbroken? I wasn't. My kids weren't. The fact is I got gifts in my Christmas stocking. I got money under my pillow. At the time I was always told it was only for children, so I knew there would come a time when I would not get Xmas stockings and once all my baby teeth were gone there was no more money coming. Being told those things weren't real at the age of about 8 or 9 or somewhere around then, it didn't bother me in the least because I was still promised stockings full of gifts anyway. They were going to keep coming and it didn't matter to me if they came from Santa or my parents.

With my children we played that game. I also told my oldest child one Xmas... when she was about 8, that after this one I was going to tell her Santa's secret. That made it exciting for her. She was going to find out Santa's secret. When it was revealed that my wife and I were Santa she was amazed not heartbroken. She still kept getting her Xmas stockings up till about the age of 13. We did the same for our second child.

It really depends on how you handle it. If your kids get upset, then clearly there's something wrong in the way you handled it. I taught them to tackle things rationally not emotionally.

I think it's far more harmful to tell children God is real. Now THAT was something that was truly painful for me. Maybe if I'd been told at the age of 8 and 9 Christianity was all a big fantasy, I would have been fine with it. However I was led to believe in God for another 30 years. Taught never to question that God was real.

It took me 5 years to get over the fact that Jesus/God was just a fantasy. I felt a huge sense of loss. Having been indoctrinated into it as a child and believing without question, had a huge impact.

I'm absolutely convinced that teaching kids that Santa and the Tooth Fairy are real is far less harmful than teaching them God is real.

I've heard arguments that you shouldn't teach about Santa as being real because then kids will treat God the same way. I actually think that's probably a good thing. I explore this here in a Chic Tract spoof of "Fairy Tales" I did:

http://reckersworld.jimdo.com/religion/ ... airy-tale/

[The Tanager]

[Replying to post 1 by jgh7]

I don't have a problem with those who pretend it is true, but I grew up with it and wasn't devastated when I found out the truth. Kids are pretty resilient, it seems to me.

But my wife and I personally didn't pretend it with our children. We just didn't feel there was much that would be added by doing it. Our kids still love Christmas, they love hearing the stories of Santa, they love fairy stories, they baked cookies for Santa and all of that. We did make sure they knew not to spoil things for those families that did pretend (like my sister's family).

[JehovahsWitness]

[Replying to post 1 by jgh7]

As one of Jehovah's Witnesses I believe it is always wrong to lie - even to children. There's nothing wrong with telling children fictional stories but not to tell them they are factual or true when they are not. I don't know you have to spoil every story by interjecting "you know these people don't really exist right?" every five minutes but if a child asks you if a character is real or not then lying is always unacceptable.

Magically appearing tooth fairies seem to me to simply be a type of conditioning young children be receptive to magic and superstition and I've never understood the point of telling a child that "Santa" gave them something when it was really their grandma ...

Personal Opinion,

JW

[OnceConvinced]

[Replying to post 1 by jgh7]

As one of Jehovah's Witnesses I believe it is always wrong to lie - even to children. There's nothing wrong with telling children fictional stories but not to tell them they are factual or true when they are not. I don't know you have to spoil every story by interjecting "you know these people don't really exist right?" every five minutes but if a child asks you if a character is real or not then lying is always unacceptable.

Magically appearing tooth fairies seem to me to simply be a type of conditioning young children be receptive to magic and superstition and I've never understood the point of telling a child that "Santa" gave them something when it was really their grandma ...

Personal Opinion,

JW

So it seems even at an early age we are conditioning our children to believe in magic and the supernatural. I guess it should be no wonder that children then go on to believe in gods. Proving gods to be imaginary is a lot more difficult than proving Santa and the tooth fairy to be imaginary.

To me now, teaching children about gods existing is no different to telling them Santa and the tooth fairy exist, except for the fact that the one doing the teaching actually really does believe in the gods.

For me now I would place gods on that list of things we shouldn't be convincing our children are real. In fact I see way less harm in teaching them Santa and the Tooth fairy exist. Teaching that gods exist has far greater ramifications on our lives. I for one can speak as someone who dedicated my life to a god only to find out it was non existant. So much I invested in my belief in that god. What I had invested in Santa and the Tooth fairy were nothing compared to that.

Let's say a god really did exist and it just happened to be the Christian one. Yet millions of people are worshiping false gods all because they were taught their god existed.

And even if this one Christian god exists, millions are rejecting this god. If they were just never taught about this god, then they would never have a chance to reject it. Thus they would be safe from this god's wrath. They would be deemed ignorant of this god.

Yes, teaching your kids about gods can open up a huge can of worms whether that god is real or not. It could have terrible repercussions.

[JehovahsWitness]

So it seems even at an early age we are conditioning our children to believe in magic and the supernatural.

Yes exactly! Lying to children, especially about magic, teaching them to follow superstious rituals with a reward based kickback (as in tooth fairy tactics) and encouraging them to find spiritistic practices fun and funny with toys and games, are all in my view a kind of early conditoning ...

Just my personal opinion

JW

[OnceConvinced]

So it seems even at an early age we are conditioning our children to believe in magic and the supernatural.

Yes exactly! Lying to children, especially about magic, teaching them to follow superstious rituals with a reward based kickback (as in tooth fairy tactics) and encouraging them to find spiritistic practices fun and funny with toys and games, are all in my view a kind of early conditoning ...

Just my personal opinion

JW

But for me teaching them about God is right in there amongst those teachings. ie superstitious rituals (like prayer) magic, etc.

[jgh7]

[Replying to post 4 by JehovahsWitness]

I pretty much agree with what you're saying. It just seems wrong to knowingly decieve children even if it's for their entertainment. Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy are deceptions that last for years before parents decide to end the belief (or kids find out on their own). It just doesn't seem right and I wonder if it's some odd indocrination of culture in society.

[JehovahsWitness]

[Replying to post 8 by jgh7]

It most certainly is. As someone that belongs to a religion that doesn't celebrate Christmas I am constantly amazed by how many ADULTS seem to take objection to my position. No matter how "liberal" people appear there are always some (albeit a minority but that there are any is surprising to me) that seem horrified by my choice and I can't help but wonder if that has something subconsciously to do with their own childhood indoctinization ...

To be honest I don't think a lot of parents sit down and discuss and analysis it, everyone around does it, their parents did it, their parent's parents did it and they will do it... that's how culture works for better or for worse.

JW

[catnip]

Millions of parents tell their young ones of the tooth fairy and Santa. They'll go so far as to sneak presents under the tree or money under the pillow to convince children that said make-believe character is real.

When the time comes, parents later tell their children (or the children find out on their own) that these characters are not real and just pretend. This is seen as a tradition and something to look back fondly on as a child.

But is it right to do such things? To trick children for years into believing in such things, only for them to possibly get their hearts broken when they find out it's all been a lie given by those whom they most trusted?

I'm undecided on the matter. I wasn't devastated when I found out the tooth fairy wasn't real even though I used to believe he/she was. And perhaps the whole experience was interesting and maybe useful in learning about faith. I did have great fun when I believed and saw the "miracles" so to speak. But I know my young cousin was very distressed when I accidentally told him Santa was fake.

I'm undecided on whether it's right or wrong to bring up kids believing in the tooth fairy / Santa. What are your thoughts?

To begin: I don't think it relates to faith at all for a child. I think it is simply that it is fun, a thing of joy. They look forward to these holidays and their gifts. It is through this same pleasure and joy that through their receiving gifts, they learn to give. When their own children are born, they are excited and happy to do for them what their parents did for so lovingly did for them.

Do you go to movies? Do you read novels? Does your pleasure or entertainment in a story hinge on it being true? You know they are fiction, crafted in the mind of their creators. Some of those characters you never forget. At any rate, for a while you suspend your reality and allow the fantasy. Even as an adult you can do this.

No, I didn't resent finding out that Santa wasn't real. I was a bit sad and fearful that the generosity would end--but it doesn't. Now, as an older woman, I still hang my own children's stockings even though they are grown and living a long way away. Even in that, wrapped in happy memories, there is love.

There is enough reality and misery, selfishness and unhappiness in this world. Is there some powerful need to raise our children mired in it? Or can we allow them the belief that there are things to look forward to, a reason to celebrate, a day to set aside for joy and play all their lives?