Defining Family

[palmera]

In just about every debate here regarding homosexuality and/or marriage, a common undercurrent of discussion concerns the "family."

For instance, in voicing opposition to gay marriage, one poster wrote,

As soon as a child is raised by people that are the same sex they are by definition NOT being raised by their family.

So let's talk about the family and what constitutes a family. It's time we examine "family," which definitions we use and why. Why do some definitions seem to hold sway for some over others? Further, how do those definitions fit into our discourses, especially regarding homosexuality and marriage?

What colors how we think of and define "family" and what influence does that have on how we choose to see the world?

The main question: How do the definitions we use for "family" bias our opinions, and which definition(s) of marriage should be used to form the foundation of legal/political action?

[palmera]

To begin, here are a few definitions one can find using Google. I don't see any gender specification in any of them, that is to say, no definition explicitly defines "family" as man + woman = child.

Definitions of family on the Web:

a social unit living together;
people descended from a common ancestor;
class: a collection of things sharing a common attribute;
an association of people who share common beliefs or activities;
(biology) a taxonomic group containing one or more genera;
kin: a person having kinship with another or others;
syndicate: a loose affiliation of gangsters in charge of organized criminal activities
wordnet.princeton.edu/perl/webwn
A family is a domestic group of people, or a number of domestic groups linked through descent (demonstrated or stipulated) from a common ancestor, marriage or adoption. Families have some degree of kinship.
Scientific classification or biological classification is how biologists group and categorize extinct and living species of organisms. Modern classification has its roots in the system of Carolus Linnaeus, who grouped species according to shared physical characteristics. These groupings have been revised since Linnaeus to improve consistency with the Darwinian principle of common descent. ...
Family" is an episode of the television series Buffy the Vampire Slayer that centers on the character Tara.

[juliod]

This is an interesting topic, and I suspect there will be a variety of opinion. I won't offer a definition myself.

But I will reject any notion that includes in "family" a repeat incentuous child rapist but excludes a genuine caretaker who happens to be a homosexual.

DanZ

[ST88]

Why do some definitions seem to hold sway for some over others? Further, how do those definitions fit into our discourses, especially regarding homosexuality and marriage?

This is one of those topics where you can appeal to a concept of "everybody knows what this is." We all know what a family is because we've seen it in our lives and in the media. It's the sitcom mother/father/sister/brother paradigm that defines the American ideal. I believe it was Rilke who asked How can a people remember with perfect clarity a past that never existed?

The people in power currently have the 1950s as their nostalgic standard, so those who are socially conservative are going to get their definitions of how society should run from the narcissistic paranoia of their youth. And they have managed to infect some younger folks with their thinking as well.

The main question: How do the definitions we use for "family" bias our opinions, and which definition(s) of marriage should be used to form the foundation of legal/political action?

One of the definitions I have seen is "related by blood or marriage." This is the standard that hospitals use for "next of kin". So perhaps the definition of marriage is the key concept.

[palmera]

One of the definitions I have seen is "related by blood or marriage." This is the standard that hospitals use for "next of kin". So perhaps the definition of marriage is the key concept

Good point. Hospitals also acknowledge adoption as a familial relation. Sociologically speaking, "family" cannot be equated to one set definition. What constitutes family goes beyond what some have claimed is the Biblical definition in relation to marriage. Those who use the Bible as the foundation of what "family" means often fail to acknowledge the underlying social function of "family" units as a reality beyond man + woman (+ children) = family.

It's important for us to realize that our biases toward homosexuality and marriage (whatever they may be) are related to, and often rooted in, our understanding of "family."

Taking a holistic approach to "family" fundamentally alters one's approach to issues such as gay marriage and gay adoption; because, "family" is then not limited by the rigid heterosexual formula for the nuclear family which allows one to make the statement:

As soon as a child is raised by people that are the same sex they are by definition NOT being raised by their family.

Such a statement really has no foundation in reality beyond that of fundamental christian circles... nor beyond that of any circle whose ideology is one of exclusion. This being said, it is irresponsible for political/legal action to be taken to exclude the freedom/rites of its citizens based on such an ideology at the exclusion of sound sociological understanding and reasoning.

[lynxichan]

As soon as a child is raised by people that are the same sex they are by definition NOT being raised by their family.

As soon as a couple adopts a child, whether they are same-sex or not, is child not being raised by his/her family? If their father abandoned them and their mother is in jail, and no one else in the world cares about them but that one couple, I'd say they are being raised by the people who are more of a family to them than their biological parents ever were. What it looks like you're implying is that a same-sex couple is incapable of raising a child correctly. Which is prejudice. Which is bad.

[micatala]

It occurs to me that in the story of the good Samaritan, the brother of the person beaten and robbed ended up being the person from another ethnic group entirely, precisely because he was the one who stepped up to the plate and actually acted like a brother. It seems Jesus had a pretty non-traditional notion of family.

And welcome to the forum, lynxichan.

[lynxichan]

Glad to be welcomed. :D

Do I get a kitchen sink?

[micatala]

Sorry, no kitchen sink. Only 'virtual goodies' like emoticons.